My Husband Won’t Let Me See His Phone: Is He Cheating?

Marriage is a sacred bond between two individuals. The decision to spend the rest of your life in someone’s company is a big one. With mutual support and understanding, this connection can blossom and grow even more as time passes. Yet marriage comes with its fair share of problems. With the passing years, it is possible to start taking your spouse for granted. Marriage can only last with enthusiastic contributions to the betterment of the relationship from both parties.
 

In the modern world, matrimony has started to face even more complications. Almost all of our day to day activities include the involvement of technology. Consequentially, our phones harbor a lot of our information. From personal photographs to text messages, you can learn a lot about a person just by going through their phone.

So, if you share every detail of your day with your partner, having access to each other’s phones shouldn’t be a big deal, right? In certain cases, with the consent of your partner going through their phone can be a symbol of trust. It shows that you care for each other deeply and share complete transparency between the two of you.

Perhaps your husband has shared the main password (that unlocks his phone) with you. But when you open his phone, some individual apps are locked as well. This can be a telling sign that he is hiding something. Now, be careful, and do not let your suspicions get the best of you. It is not necessary that if he is hiding something, it is from you. It is very much possible that your spouse is just protecting his privacy from snoopy coworkers or family members. But if everything seems to be password protected, he doesn’t want anyone going through his phone.

Does your lover immediately switch off his phone when you enter a room? Did you see him smiling at his phone but as soon as you come in he puts it away and oddly diverts your attention elsewhere? If this is the case, it is understandable why you would get curious as to what is on that phone. After all, this is worrying behavior.

Another way to tell that your husband does not want you to see what is on his phone is if he hides his mobile screen. This can be in several ways. If you are sitting behind him and can see his phone, he will turn to the other side. Or perhaps he holds his phone close to his face to conceal his screen from view. Lastly, when he puts his phone somewhere, he makes sure that the screen is facing down. This allows any incoming notifications to be hidden from sight.

You will rarely see that his phone is not with him. Whether it is in his hand or placed in a bag or pocket, your husband seems to always have his phone on him. This may be because your spouse is just someone who uses their phone a lot or gets many business phone calls and is required to keep his phone with him at all times. Either way, it is an indication that your husband does not like his phone to be gone through.

There is nothing wrong with asking your partner for some clarity. If you are beginning to get concerned regarding your partner’s loyalty, they should be more than willing to do anything to clear your doubts. Transparency is an important aspect of a good marriage. If having access to his phone will make you feel more comfortable and secure, there is no reason your partner should have an issue with letting you see his device. With such a close bond, you should not be afraid of telling your lover what has been on your mind and what can help to ease it.

You may have experienced troublesome relationships in the past. This can make you suspicious of every person you date after this. It has become very common to develop issues with trusting your partner especially with the lack of loyalty in partnerships of your past. But if your partner has denied you access to his phone, it is your responsibility to learn to accept that. You must respect his privacy and welcome what he chooses to share with you. If you express unhappiness with the amount of transparency your partner chooses to have with you, it can result in making him even more of a private person.
 

Cheating is not the only reason your husband could be hiding his phone from you. But your mind can start to exaggerate small things and get you worked up worrying about the faithfulness of your spouse. Take a positive spin on it. Maybe he has a little surprise planned for you and he doesn’t want you to find out. Whatever it maybe you need to respect your partner’s decision.

Let’s suppose your doubts are correct and your husband is not allowing you to have access to his phone because he does not want you to find out that he has been unfaithful. Keeping his phone under surveillance won’t make him loyal to you. If he is cheating, you will find out one way or another. Infidelity is devastating and can ruin a marriage. But even more than infidelity not trusting a loyal partner can destroy your relationship. If his secrecy with his phone is the only clue you have to whether he is cheating, I urge you to let it go.
 

Maintain your moral high ground and don’t go behind his back, snooping and invading his privacy. Because if you find nothing that proves he is cheating, you will immensely regret betraying your partner’s confidence. Instead, try to work on developing more mutual trust. You cannot alter your partner’s behavior, but you can choose how you react to it.

The thing with trust in any kind of relationship is that it needs to be earned. No one automatically owes you their trust especially when you have taken advantage of it in the past. Stay true to your word. Minimize lying and allow yourself to be vulnerable or embarrassed. After all, this is someone you that has vowed to love all parts of you till death do you part. Don’t make promises you know you can’t keep.

One of the most important factors in keeping a relationship healthy is communication. Be clear and articulate when some behavior of your spouse angers you. Do not resort to petty solutions like passive-aggressive comments. Try your best to be as honest as possible. When you express your feelings, your partner will be able to see where you are coming from and this gives way to compromise for each other’s comfort.

No one wants to share their personal or perhaps embarrassing information with someone they feel judges by. Remember that your husband is not some fairytale Prince Charming because nothing of the sort exists. We are all just human and humans make mistakes and slip up when they shouldn’t. Keep your heart open to forgiveness and learn to accept him for not just his positive traits but also for the negative ones. Only then will he feel comfortable enough to be utterly vulnerable with you. Make sure he knows you will love and support him no matter what. And of course, the sentiment should be returned.

It is best to not overshare every detail of your relationship with your friends and family members. Although it can be cathartic to let it all out with a friend if something has been bothering you, your spouse may not feel safe telling you things anymore. Make sure you are alone when you talk about issues in your marriage. Knowing that this information just stays between the two of you can help your lover open up about their feelings more.

Maintaining a healthy marriage is not an easy thing. But it is worth it knowing there is someone who will always be by your side. Work on yourself and your ability to trust. A good relationship requires constant effort from both of you.

Dave Meurer, the author of the 2004 book titled Good Spousekeeping once said, and I quote:
 

“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.”