I Just Dream About Being Cheated On - What Does That Mean?

Chances are high that if you are reading this you have been dreaming about being cheated on and this is causing you some level of concern. Some might suggest just brush it off saying, it’s just a dream and does not mean all that much and if that works for you then we are all for it. But, dreams can sometimes bring out subconscious fears and desires and make you confront them in your dreamscape. After all, just because it’s in your head, why should that mean it’s not real?

Having a random one-time dream about being cheated on, is not a cause for concern and it’s probably just your brain being random. An isolated event after all really doesn’t mean much. However, if you have recurrent dreams about being cheated on, it might be a good idea to examine some things and figure out if your past and your insecurities are trying to sabotage your present. Or perhaps your intuition is trying to tell you something about an unfaithful partner. Either way, recurrent cheating dreams are a valid cause for concern.

Dreaming is perhaps one of the most fascinating activities that humans take very lightly because of how much a part of every day it is. But despite being a natural and normal life experience, it’s mind-blowing to realize that no one completely understands how or why we dream. There are many theories, but little has been confirmed by scientists and experts. Some people believe dreams are meaningless neural events and it’s all not that deep. They believe that when you enter deep stages of sleep, random neurons fire up while your body rests and recovers, creating images and narratives that are simply bits and pieces your brain randomly picks from your sensory reality.

However, many cultures regard dreams as more nebulous events that can even be prophetic. Modern psychological thought also acknowledges that your dreams can certainly tell you a lot about the inner state and workings of your mind. They convey real information and can be used to explore your emotional and subconscious landscape. Especially recurrent dreams, because the more often a dream recurs the less likely it is that it’s a random event. So even though dreams are also full of random and meaningless information, they certainly are, to an extent, a reflection of our internal reality.

One of the most common dream experience is that of being chased by something or someone. This also happens to be a lot of people’s earliest dream themes. Which makes a lot of sense because being chased represents a fear or denial of something stressful, traumatic, or daunting – which is sometimes just some kind of awareness of the self we are running away from. The only way for the chase to be over is to stop running and confront the monster you are running away from.

Dreaming about being naked in public is also a pretty common theme that stems from fear of being exposed, fearing humiliation, and feeling unsafe and vulnerable. Most people are terrified of being seen and have some kind of insecurity that makes them want to hide. Alternatively, some dream analysts suggest public nakedness in dreams to mean the exact opposite i.e. deep self-confidence in who you are! Some people who have these dreams aren’t afraid of being seen or believe that despite being exposed they will not lose their ability to be worthy of love.

A very common theme of dreaming is that of falling which indicates a subconscious that feels a loss of control or support in their conscious life. People experience these dreams of falling more when they are at a stage in their life where they feel a lack of stability, control, or safety. Falling is a scary, disorienting feeling and the dream depicts that the dreamer has an insecure and immobilized headspace.

According to Lauri Quinn Loewenberg, who is a famous dream analyst, if your subconscious is preoccupied with the idea of your partner cheating, it’s quite evident that you are not secure in the relationship. Whether the fear arises from their untrustworthy and worrying behavior or if it is just a consequence of your insecurities is up for debate, but it’s very clear that you don’t trust your partner fully and question their loyalties. The best way to deal with this situation is to find the courage to talk to your partner about your insecurities instead of staying silent because communication is the only way to create space for more trust in your relationship.

Lauri Quinn Loewenberg also explains that if you have been cheated on in the past it’s much more likely for you to have cheating dreams and it could just be you, bringing that baggage into this new relationship. In this case, the cheating dream is indicating that you need to rebuild trust which might need some therapy to help you resolve past trauma. Pretending a problem doesn’t exist, unfortunately, does nothing to solve the problem!

Even if there is no evidence of a third wheel in your relationship, you may be suspecting that something is getting between you two. It could be their job demanding too much of their time, a very close friend who gets too up in their business, or anything else that makes you feel in competition for their affection or attention. The answer? You guessed it! Communication. If you feel insecure to communicate your feelings in a relationship, you’re not in a healthy one for sure!

If you are having recurrent dreams of being cheated on and seem to be subconsciously obsessed with this idea, you might need to do some soul searching because this dreaming may be reflective of deep-seated insecurities and a lack of self-worth that might be rooted in childhood trauma. Alternatively, you might have a gut feeling and something might be wrong under your nose. Either way, something in real-life is causing you to subconsciously question if your partner loves and values you, and this is a valid cause for concern.

Therapy and communication. If the problem is internal you need to get help. If you have had bad experiences in the past you need to heal in therapy otherwise your baggage will poison even very healthy relationships, you enter after the incident. Similarly, working on childhood trauma and finding the origin of some insecurities about your self-worth will help you be more secure in romantic dynamics. If your partner has behavioral patterns that make you insecure then communicating your discomfort is important and even if they have a less than ideal reaction to your concerns, that is also telling of how healthy your relationship is. Either way, to resolve issues causing you to dream about being cheated on, communication and conversation cannot be avoided. If you avoid the conversation you will only create room for more mistrust. Figure out if you need to work out some issues or if it’s not just you, maybe couple’s therapy can help you two built a more loving more trustful bond.

Cheating dreams, especially recurrent cheating dreams are trying to convey some information from your subconscious to your conscious mind. Whether it’s a cheating partner that your gut is warning you about or just your issues resurfacing, being in denial is not going to help you feel better. Much like the dreams of being chased by monsters, the only real way to process and get over this negative pattern of dreaming about being cheated on is to confront it and have an honest conversation with friends, with a therapist, and ideally with your partner.

 Most of the time, an awareness of the issue can fix it. If you tell him that his work or a too chummy friend is making you feel neglected, he will know that you are asking for more attention and affection. If he cares about you, he will make an effort, and seeing him make that effort will quell a lot of your concerns. Open and honest communication is the backbone of any relationship and mistrust usually arises from lack thereof.