How Do You Know If You're Dating A Broken Man?
Nobody is born broken. A man is very simple being. Even though he might take time to care for someone but when he does, he is at his most vulnerable state. A broken and emotionally damaged man is the one whose vulnerability was exploited by a past lover or because of some other circumstance. To determine whether your man is damaged or not, here are a few signs you can look for in his behavior.
He doesn’t open up easily
When a person has been hurt before, you need to go that extra mile to make them trust you and open up. Generally, people do take a little bit of time to open up but when it comes to a broken man, you’ll notice that he can be a bit stubborn and resistant. You visibly see his body language change and shrink into a shell when you ask him a question that he isn’t ready to answer yet.
He zones out when talks about a certain trauma in his past
When a person hasn’t healed from a traumatic event in their past, there are two ways that they choose from to deal with it– either shut down when the topic arises or they just cannot stop talking about it. If he’s is comfortable enough to talk about it, notice how he talks about it. If he zones out or you see his body language become very vulnerable, that this what broke and damaged him. This is one of the major signs that you are dating an emotionally damaged man.
You can see there are triggers
A broken man will show his scars as a result of being exposed to certain situations that pose as a trigger to him. This one is a sure sign that you’re dating a man who has been damaged and broken.
How different do damaged people love?
A person that has been damaged knows what it feels like to be hurt and they walk on eggshells to not bring that kind of pain and misery to someone else. Here are a few ways a damaged person’s love can be different:
He is very empathetic
This man has been hurt before. He has picked up his pieces and embarked on the journey of healing. He knows what hurting feels like which has made him extremely empathetic. Remember the guys who forget important dates? Or don’t remember your favorite color? Well, you can expect the exact opposite when it comes to this man. His love will be gentle, sensitive yet passionate. Once he crosses the barrier of fear and truly starts loving you, you’ll meet in the warmth of his love and care.
He is extra cautious
This can sometimes be good and sometimes be a headache but when you’re with someone, you need to accept both – the beautiful bits and the ugly ones. A person who is damaged and broken tends to be extra cautious and he might expect the same from you. He will try to communicate a lot (which is a good thing) about anything that’s bothering him. To deal with this aspect, patience is key. Once the foundation of trust is set, you will see his carefree side shining through and that will be worth the efforts.
How Do People Deal With Broken Hearts?
We all have been through a heartbreak. It’s ugly, dark, and can be traumatizing. Some lucky ones heal and grow from it while others can go for years trying to pick up their pieces. The process of dealing with a broken heart is very personal to each. It’s safe to say that even when people have healed from heartbreak, it leaves a lifetime impact on them. Either they take a lesson from it or an insecurity/fear or a little bit of everything. Here are ways people deal with broken hearts:
1. Help other people
If you’ve experienced life, you understand that there is a direct relationship between relieving the pain of others and your pain is lessened. That is a spiritual connection there that our logical mind cannot grasp. Some people use and abuse it to heal themselves. This one sure is a healthy way to heal.
2. Rediscover themselves in isolation
Sometimes people are so broken that they don’t want to be seen by others. To heal, they turn to isolation where they can break down and rebuilt themselves without the fear of judgment by others.
3. Seek comfort in friends and family
Seeking comfort and help from your friends and family who want nothing but good things for you is another healthy route people take to deal with broken hearts.
4. Get a rebound
Getting a rebound and channeling the hurt and misery on building some sort of a connection with a new person is one of the bad ways to deal with a broken heart but unfortunately, a way that is taken up by most people.
Tips On Dating An Emotionally Damaged Man
Dating a damaged man requires you to be comfortable with the idea of having a few additional responsibilities. Here are a few tips to be more equipped when you’re in a relationship with an emotionally scarred man.
1. Be his support
Any relationship calls for both individuals to support each other. That is no surprise but when you’re with a guy who has been emotionally traumatized, he might need more of your support. Making up your mind that you will be there for him every step of the way is a good way to start.
2. Have patience
Lots of patience. He will shut down, he will be sensitive about certain topics and he might be resistant at some points - what will help you help him is patience.
3. Don’t commit to potential
If you’re in a relationship with a damaged person, you need to know that you cannot commit to potential. Maybe he is damaged and he will surely heal but some of his habits might not change. I’m referring to those habits that you’re putting up with by holding on to an expectation that when he heals, that habit will potentially change. Love him for who he is. Don’t commit to potential, commit to who he is today.
4. Know when to give him space
The effort is healthy but you need to know when to give him space. He will need space when things get overwhelming and you need to understand this need of his as an emotionally damaged man.
Helping To Mend A Broken Heart
1. Create a safe space for the person with a broken heart
If someone around you has a broken heart, the best thing to do is ensure that person knows they can come to you if they need it. They should know that you won’t judge them or tell them lies.
2. Become a listener
When a heart is broken, the tongue weeps. They will be confused, they’ll look for answers and they’ll want to keep on repeating the story with the hope that someone will help them find answers. Be a listener and be open. They’ll be very grateful for this.
3. Be empathetic
Don’t disregard their feelings. What they’re going through may not sound as harsh to you, but for them – it shook their world. Be empathetic and tell them that it’s okay to feel this way and they don’t deserve to go through it.
4. Tell them that this will pass
When the heart is broken, hopelessness sets in. It feels like there is no way out of this darkness. This is the time where one needs to hear from trustworthy sources that this is not the end of the world. If you’re that source, tell them that this too shall pass!
When Do Broken Hearts Heal?
Time is the best healer of all but how much each needs to heal depends on the depth of the wound and the willpower of the afflicted.
Being broken and damaged is a part of life. Getting hurt is the most effective way to grow as a person. If you’re dating a damaged person, you’d be surprised at how caring, sensitive, and gentle lovers they are but there is another side of this coin too. You need to have a few tricks up your sleeves to deal with such a partner. If both of you put in the effort, things will work out – they always do.