5 Things Your Partner Does That Means They Don't Trust You

Understanding where they're coming from is a good start

By Evelyn
5 Things Your Partner Does That Means They Don't Trust You

How Important Is Trust In A Relationship?

What do you think about this statement: "Trust in a relationship is more important than love". Do you agree? Do you think you can really love someone you don't trust? We bet that's the case for many couples, one of them loves their partner but the relationship is not a good one because they don't trust them. Love's great! When you enter a relationship is amazing, right? all those new feelings, your dates are filled with laughter and passionate kisses, and you enjoy being with each other whether being cozied up on the couch or hanging up with friends. 

But what happens when all those feelings of love and happiness are replaced by doubt and fear? That's when the relationship takes a turn for the bad. It's a fact of life that we all carry some baggage (willingly or not), and inevitably we all bring that baggage into a relationship. It could be anything from dealing with childhood trauma or trying to overcome past infidelities... the past, one way or another, always affects our present relationship. This is the reason why trust is crucial in a romantic relationship. For a relationship to grow and be successful, you have to be able to trust each other. 

"Trust is letting go of needing to know all the details before you open your heart." -Anonymous 
Can you get on board with this quote? This is what trust is and why it's important in a relationship. In a relationship, trust means that you truly believe that your partner is reliable, that he or she has your best interest at heart. It also means that you have faith in each other and that you feel safe in each other's company.

With trust, there are some expectations too. You expect honesty, respect, integrity, and loyalty. You also expect that the promises and secrets are kept and unconditional support when things get rough. However, don't forget that we are humans, so we're not perfect and are bound to make mistakes from time to time, so trust also means that you'll understand and forgive each other when some of those promises and agreements are not kept. Remember that all this goes both ways, trust doesn't work in a relationship if just one of you is willing. You have to be on the same boat for it to work.

What Are The Possible Reasons For Distrust In A Relationship?

As you already know, trust is crucial in a relationship, especially in a romantic one. Once you have it, things run smoothly most of the time. However, trust does not come instantly, it takes time and it requires effort and willingness from both of you. During the course of your relationship, maintaining and strengthening trust is a challenge but if you want things to work in the long run it's important that you're aware of the possible reasons for distrust in a relationship. 

Keeping things to yourself

Often, people in a relationship think that it's not necessary to discuss small issues, like food choices or small arguments or valentine's day plans with their partners. Since these are considered petty things, they keep them to themselves...not a good idea. This is how distrust can enter your relationship. Don't keep things to yourself, be open and vulnerable, trust grows from this.

Being physically absent

If you love someone you want to spend time with him, right? Technology, in the form of text messages and emojis, is a big help but you have to make time to spend it with your significant other. The days still have 24 hours so there's no excuse. You can make the most of the time you spend together, besides catching up face-to-face makes each other feel safe. 

Letting pride win

In a romantic relationship, pride is a sin. We're not talking just about arrogance, we're talking about a close mind and not being able to accept reasoning and explanations from the other party. Don't let your pride win when it comes to addressing an issue with your significant other because you'll be destroying trust. Entering a discussion leading with your pride is just going to hurt your relationship. 

Not knowing how to trust

You can't give what you don't have, that's a fact. If you have personal issues about trust, then first you need to have a "me-time" and work on resolving them because otherwise. you won't be able to give trust in your relationship a chance. 

Having your personal walls up

We all have walls, but having them high and wide when entering a relationship is not conducive to trust. You can't trust someone who's not open and vulnerable. Let your walls down so trust can enter your relationship and make it stronger. 

5 Things Your Partner Does That Means They Don't Trust You

Two things are paramount in a healthy relationship: trust and communication. They have to be in the center of it. Sometimes you are certain that there are no reasons for your partner not to trust but the truth is that sometimes he doesn't trust you. Maybe it's because he has his own trust issues due to bad past relationships or traumatic childhood, not because of any actions on your part. Since he's not communicating this lack of trust to you and you need to address it to solve it, here are 5 things he's doing that means he doesn't trust you. 

1. They're constantly checking your phone

A major sign that he doesn't trust you is the constant need to check your phone. He either asks to see your phone or he does it in a sneaky way. If he asks you to show him your phone because he's "curious" to know how it works... this means he's going to check it out later (when you're not looking), to see if he can "catch you". 

2. They want to always know your whereabouts

If you feel like you're in constant surveillance, that's another sign he doesn't trust you. He's always checking up on you, calling your friends or your workplace to confirm your whereabouts, even following you to "keep an eye" is a sure sign he has trust issues. 

3. They ask a lot of questions

If you feel like you're in an interrogation room each time you come late from a night with your friends, then it's clear that he doesn't trust you because he's not sure about your honesty. The questions never seem to end, because he's not pleased with your answers, he has bit trust issues. 

4. They're keeping you at arm's length

If he doesn't trust you (even if the distrust is unfounded), he's not going to tell you, however. he's going to create a space between you two. He'll be unwilling to open up to you and get too attached. If you feel like that the closeness required in a relationship is not happening then it's a sign he doesn't trust you. 

5. They want to control you

This is a serious sign. If he goes beyond wanting to know your whereabouts and who you are with and starts dictating with whom you can go out, and when, and where, this could be a red alert that his behavior is becoming abusive. 

What Should I Do If My Partner Doesn't Seem To Trust Me?

Since trust is crucial in a relationship, you need to do something (or at least try) to gain or regain your partner's trust. Just know that sometimes, he may have trust issues that have nothing to do with you, so he's the one who has to work on that but the following suggestions may help you make the relationship work in spite of his trust issues. 

Practice being vulnerable in small steps

You build confidence by being more open with your partner, showing vulnerability. Start with small issues (like meals or special celebrations) before tackling the bigger ones like kids or finances.  

Communication and honesty

Always be honest about past issues, finances, concerns about someone in your family. Don't sweep anything under the rug because you're afraid it's going to lead to an argument. Trust is built on communication too.

Be a provider of positive and loving reassurance

Prove to him that you're not all just talk. Just be kind, and loving and support him even when he's not receptive. If you do this on a daily basis, he'll get the message. 

What Can I Do To Make My Partner Feel That I Am Trustworthy?

The best thing you can do to make your partner feel that you're trustworthy is " say what you mean and mean what you say". Easy, right? No one is going to trust an untruthful person (that's how we protect ourselves from being let down), so if you say something, follow through with it. Also always tell the truth about how you're feeling, lies are not conducive to trust. 

Be that person he can rely on, that's another way to make him trust you. Trust is built on vulnerability, so don't be afraid to show your vulnerability. Be open to him about your fears, he'll feel close to you, and little by little he'll feel safe with you, 

And finally, respect. A relationship doesn't work if there isn't respect between the couple. Always show respect for his choices and decision, even when you don't agree with them. 

Related Article: 11 Empathetic Ways to Handle a Partner With Trust Issues
11 Empathetic Ways to Handle a Partner With Trust Issues
How to collaborate with your partner to resolve trust issues


Trust between a couple in a relationship is crucial to have a healthy relationship but it's also so easy to break it. That's why is something you have to work on daily because once broken it's very hard to restore it. Always be truthful with yourself and with him, communicate between you two, and don't be afraid to be vulnerable. 


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