Love making not lasting long enough?
Becoming intimate and making love can be a turning point in a relationship. But if you have been seeing a guy for a while and come to find that he doesn’t take his time in bed, it is not the most romantic situation. After all, sex is about mutual satisfaction, and since girls generally take longer to reach orgasm, your guy finishing too quickly does not always ensure that you are getting the attention you deserve. Know that it is perfectly normal for a guy not to last very long. Especially the first few times you make love, your guy could just be over excited. In time, his endurance will grow. Still, there is no harm in trying some tricks that will help your guy last longer while you two make love.
1. He should masturbate beforehand
The easiest method to help your man naturally last longer when you make love is for him to masturbate earlier in the day. The second ejaculation in one day is harder for men, as his member will be less sensitive. There is no specific time frame that works for every man, so your guy will have to test out how many hours beforehand works best for him. For some men, this might be only one or two hours before you make love. For others, just doing it in the morning will help. Actually, an increase in masturbation will help your man become slightly more desensitized, as he will build stamina and last longer over time.
2. Use your hands and mouth to help him last longer
Use your hands and mouth more often when you two make love. Sure, your time together can start out with some manual and oral sex, as foreplay is essential for both you and your guy. But consider using your hands and mouth during intercourse. For example, when you two switch positions, surprise him by taking him in your mouth once he pulls out of you. Stay there for a few minutes before proceeding to the next position. It’s likely that this oral will be less physically pleasurable for him than when he was inside you, thereby calming the tension in his penile nerves a bit.
3. Try a new position the next time you make love
Some positions are naturally less stimulating to his member than others. Again, each guy is different here, and some positions are more or less stimulating for each person. So, this is a time for you two to experiment! Have fun while you try different alignments to minimize pressure. Take the reigns while you two make love and try being on top in cowgirl or reverse cowgirl. If your usual is missionary or doggy on the bed, try instead to have your guy stand on the side of the bed with your legs hanging off. Vary your leg position and pelvic tilt to change it up even more. Along the way, you might even find the best position to hit your g-spot.
4. Change positions several times
Try to make love in several positions during one session. The tension in his genital nerves will release a bit during the time it takes to change positions, thereby helping him last long before the climax. It is sort of like a two steps forward, one step back situation. Ideally, you can spend one to three minutes in one position before switching it up. There is a chance that changing positions several times will make it harder for you to reach climax during intercourse. On the other hand, constantly switching it up in bed will heighten your senses, and you may find you become more excited overall with each position change.
5. Edging, or disruptive sex.
This tip takes a lot of self-control for your guy. When you two make love, your guy should stop thrusting or pull out right before he is about to climax. Once you start to make love again, he should be able to last a bit longer. Again, another two steps forward, one step back idea. Successful edging takes practice. The first few times, he might go all the way by accident, so don't blame him or get frustrated. Guys vary in how long they can continue to have sex after edging. Suggest having your guy practice the next time he masturbates to experiment with controlling his climax.
6. Squeeze the bottom of his member
This tip goes well with disruptive sex/edging. Before your guy ejaculates prematurely, squeeze the bottom of his shaft with a thumb and forefinger. This movement prevents his ability to ejaculate. He can do this by himself, or you can perform the movement for him. After, he should be able to continue to make love for a bit longer. This technique may take a few tries to master. Ask your guy practice this, too, on his own before using it when you two make love.
7. Make love slower
The pace of thrusts greatly influences how quickly a guy will finish. If your guy goes hard right away, ask him to slow down in the beginning and take it easy to help him last longer. At first, have him aim for a thrust every three to five seconds. He may be eager to speed up after a few thrusts, but have him do this for ten to fifteen thrusts. Afterwards, he can start to thrust every two seconds. Every now and then, vary going back and forth between three and two-second thrusts. The main point in doing this is for him to get used to the sensation and build endurance, which over time will help him last longer. It’s like running: if you go all out at first, you are going to get winded. Instead, start out slow and work to get faster gradually.
8. Don't go deep
A deeper thrust intensifies the feeling for you and him. You will be tighter deeper in, making the sensation he feels even more powerful. In addition, the further in he goes houses more of his member, adding more pleasure. Try instead, when you start to make love, to have your guy go gentler and not thrust so hard for at least the first few minutes.
9. Double sessions
Who says you have to go at it only once? If your guy doesn’t last long the first time you make love, do it a second time after his refractory period, or the time it takes for his penile muscles to become fully responsive and for the sensation to become pleasurable again. The second time around, he should last longer. After you make love a first time and your partner finishes, use the refractory period to focus on you. He can use his hands or mouth on you as his member takes a rest. After you are satisfied, see if he is ready for another go (though, keep in mind, some guys will still not be able to so quickly).
10. Man kegels
Guys, too, can do kegel exercises! And doing them is a great way to help him last longer naturally. For a guy to perform a kegel, he should squeeze the muscle that he would to stop urinating -- this is the pelvic floor muscle that is partially responsible for orgasming. Getting this muscle stronger is useful to prevent a climax that is coming on. In other words, using this when he edges (disruptive sex) will have more benefits. Experts recommend doing a one to two sets of ten kegel exercises each day to start off.
11. Medication: Pills
If your guy cannot last longer naturally, consider some medical options that help guys last longer. Oral medications include phosphodiesterase-5 inhibitors, like Viagra and Revatio. These types of pills are federally approved to help erectile dysfunction, but they have been known to delay ejaculation as well. Be sure that your guy talks to his doctor before taking any of these pills, as there are side effects. It is recommended that you and your guy first try natural methods to help him last longer before venturing into medications.
12. Medication: Creams
If your guy is not apt to take pills, creams are a less daunting option to help men last longer when they make love. Unlike pills, these creams actually numb the head of his member (only slightly) to make it less sensitive to the sensations of sex. These types of products also come as sprays and can be bought as a prescription or over the counter. If you do go for the over the counter option, please be cautious. Of course, test the product on both you and your partner beforehand to make sure neither of you reacts. Read the instructions carefully, as some have a time reference, and do not use any more than the recommended amount, as neither of you would want any type of damage to your special areas. Once again, it is recommended that you and your guy try natural methods to help him last longer before opting for medications.
13. Thick condoms
If you and your partner do not already use condoms, consider using them the next few times you make love. Wearing a condom diminishes the sensation he will feel during intercourse, helping him last longer. If you already use condoms, use thicker ones that inhibit the sensation even more. In fact, there are over the counter condoms specially made to help prevent premature ejaculation. Known as climax control condoms, they are made with numbing agents to decrease sensation even more.
14. Don’t pressure him to last longer
Sex is so much a part of your mind. In order to enjoy sex, your mind must be free and at ease! But if all your guy can think about when you two make love is letting you down by finishing prematurely, it will surely affect his performance. We call this performance anxiety. Help your guy naturally last longer when you make love by reassuring him beforehand, saying that you do not mind. Remind him why you are with him (i.e., not for sex) and that, in time, he will last longer. Your reassurance will calm his nerves and free any pressure he feels.
15. Practice, practice, practice!
As said before, your stamina for sex is like any other muscle, and the human body is amazing at adapting and habituating. If you and your guy continually work those muscles over time, your stamina will get stronger, and your guy will be able to last longer when you make love. Keep the pressure off, and remember to have fun!