Rebound Relationships Stages: 5 Stages Of Rebound After A Breakup

The end of a relationship is hard, especially if it was a long-term relationship or even a marriage. Sometimes it's tempting to take the end of one relationship and blend it with the beginning of a new relationship, leaving no cooling off period in between. Dating someone new right after the end of another relationship is called a rebound. Doing so means putting yourself through the five stages of being in a rebound relationship: Finding the One, The Honeymoon Phase, The Inevitable Breakdown, The Explosion, and The End/The Beginning.

There are a lot of reasons that a relationship might have ended. It could have been unfaithfulness, a lack of chemistry, or a growing list of irritating qualities that became difficult to deal with. Whatever the reason for the end of the relationship; that is what sets the tone for the rebound. Instead of taking the usual transitional period between being in a relationship and being single, if you're on the rebound, you will jump right into a new relationship. The partner you choose to date is likely going to be the complete opposite of the person you just ended things with. Because the rebound partner is totally different, they seem perfect. None of the problems that caused the first breakup are present and that means, in your mind, the success rate of this relationship will be much higher. Finding someone who is the exact opposite of the last significant other is one of the signs you are embarking in a rebound relationship. The point is to move on from that troubled relationship that ended in heartbreak by jumping head first into cold water without worrying about any possible ending in store. In fact, the personality differences between the new girl and the old girl, or guy, makes you think that the new partner is the one. This is because you have blinders on and can only see the person in relation to your ex and as long as you don't see similarities, you don't see any possible problems. This stage can be very negative. In truth, it doesn't bode well when a relationship starts based on the premise that the new guy/girl is different than the old guy/girl. If that is the only criteria for entering into this new relationship, this is only the first of many signs that things may be ending poorly for the couple. This stage could also be positive. Perhaps during this transitional period, the exact opposite of the last relationship is exactly what you need. If the relationship ended because of a slowly growing clash of personalities, entering into a relationship with someone that is the opposite of the last guy/girl is the definition of a good idea.

You've just started dating this new guy/girl after ending a two-year relationship with someone who was the definition of the wrong guy/girl and everything is going great! You can practically see the 100% success rate written above your heads when you walk down the street, hand in hand. You did a great job in picking a guy/girl who is the opposite of your last boyfriend/girlfriend and you realize this was what you've been searching for all along. Things are perfect! This is the honeymoon phase of the rebound relationship. Everything is going really well because it's the beginning of a relationship that is completely different from the last relationship. The truth is, this is as much a transitional period as stage one. The relationship is still brand new so the signs aren't there yet, but they will be. For a little while longer, though, the honeymoon stage will keep both of you happy. Your new guy/girl won't know s/he's a rebound, and the truth is you probably haven't realized it either. You're just enjoying getting to know each other and you're not thinking about the ending. This is the easiest part of a rebound relationship because it feels natural, like it was meant to be. You can't help but compare the new guy/girl to the old guy/girl every once in a while, but that's normal of any relationship, right? You keep that checklist in your head to make sure the new guy/girl is still different than the old guy/girl and he passes most of the test with flying colors. There are a few moments of doubt where tiny things start to emerge that weren't clear when you picked him or her out, but in your honeymoon mind, they're not a big deal. The negative part of this phase is that it is temporary. It won't be as short as stage one, but once those tiny things start to come out, they'll continue to grow and turn into bigger things. Being in the honeymoon phase is like being in blissful denial that this relationship is founded off the idea that any relationship would be perfect as long as it is the complete and total opposite of the last relationship. The positive is that you get to be in a relationship! That means all of the good things that go along with being with a guy/girl: the kissing, the hand holding, the cuddling, and the kinds of things you only do in private. If attention and affection are what you're craving, then this stage of the rebound relationship is for you.

Despite what the honeymoon phase might have you believe, the success rate of a rebound relationship is not even close to 100%. This becomes more and more obvious as you start to see signs of a breakdown in your perfect relationship. Those tiny things you started to notice in the honeymoon phase start to become big things. You'll notice you don't like the way he/she drinks milk right out of the carton or that he/she only wants to stay in on weekends when you'd really like to go out and do something for once. The same problems that you had in your last relationship start to seep into this one, even though you chose a guy/girl who was totally different. You see the ending is near, but you fight to hold on to this relationship because, in truth, you don't want to be alone. You ignore the things that bother you because maybe you're just overreacting and they don't actually matter. The negative thing about this stage is that it is the definition of bottling up your feelings. Instead of talking about the small issues popping up in the relationship, you choose to ignore them. This will ultimately lead to stage four. The positive of this stage is that it gets you to think about what you really want in a relationship. Just finding a guy/girl that is the opposite of the last guy/girl might not be enough to keep you satisfied, and you start to realize that during this stage.

All of those tiny things you ignored and kept bottled up? Well, they'll come back to haunt you at this stage. Something is going to tip you over the edge and you won't be able to stop it when the truth comes out. You've been the definition of a ticking time bomb, and you've finally gone off. This explosion will come out of the blue for him/her because to them, things were going well. They didn't know they were a rebound and you've finally started to figure that out. This means that all of the reasons your last relationship ended seep into this one as well, and you take out your anger over that and your anger over the minor, bottled up annoyances on the undeserving new guy/girl. The negative of this stage is that the new guy/girl likely had no idea that this relationship was a transitional phase for you. They were in the relationship because they thought you were a good match; not because they thought it was a way to properly end your old relationship. It isn't fair to them to have to deal with your explosion. The positive is that you're finally forced to face head on the reasons the last relationship ended. Those problems that you blamed him/her for may not have been totally one-sided if being with someone totally different didn't solve everything.

After you've boiled over and realized that it'll take more than a new guy/girl to fix all of the problems from the old relationship, you get a new beginning. If stage four brought to light that you need to be more open and communicative, and that you need the same from your partner, then you're in a good place to enter into a relationship without the rebound. If you're lucky, the new guy/girl won't be too mad over stage four and he/she will be willing to try again as a real couple, not as a replacement couple. This could be the real beginning of the relationship. The last four stages have been a kind of mourning period for the old relationship and they were necessary to get you into a good enough place to start over with someone new. If you're not so lucky, you may need to find a new guy/girl to start with. Just because it's the end of a relationship doesn't mean it's the end of the world. It might be good to take some time for yourself to figure out exactly what you're looking for in a relationship. This time, instead of going out there and trying to find the one in terms of how he/she measures up to your last significant other, look for the person who fits with who you are and what you want.

In terms of basketball, a rebound is pretty much always a good thing. In a relationship, though, it can go either way. There are good and bad aspects to every stage of a rebound relationship, but that doesn't mean it's entirely bad. Sure, it might save some time, energy, and maybe even heartbreak to skip the rebound and take time off from dating, but it may also be worth it to learn more about yourself and what you want. The success rate of a rebound isn't great, but if you can make it through all of the stages without destroying your new relationship, you may find this becomes more than just the rebound it was when it started!