14 Ways to Deal With Someone Who Has a High Strung Personality

Here is how to deal with someone who has a high strung personality

By Vivie Gach
14 Ways to Deal With Someone Who Has a High Strung Personality

What Is A High Strung personality?

man standing near door

High Strung Personality, or Type A Personality, can mean a lot of things. If you have high strung personality, you know what I'm talking about. People with high strung personality are labeled as uptight, impatient, competitive, and 'anal' retentive' (this is one of the hardest characteristics of type A personality to deal with). However, other traits of this personality show that they are also very compassionate and are great leaders. People with type A personality get stressed out easily and are organized to the extreme spectrum of things. Below, you will find 14 ways to deal with someone with a high strung personality. Whether it's your boss, a family member or your partner, this is a must-read for all of you out there struggling to deal with someone with a high strung personality.

1. Watch Their Mood

man covering face with both hands while sitting on bench

People with type A personality tend to be very moody; it is one of their characteristics. If you need to talk to them about something important and they are trying to focus on something else, it's best to wait until they are done. If you interrupt someone with a high strung personality while they are working, they may become angry or visibly agitated, meaning that they may blow the situation out of proportion. Try waiting until they are finished with whatever they were working on and have relieved some of their stress. After that is a perfect time to bring up whatever you wanted to talk about. Their body is usually exhausted from the immense amount of stress they were just under, and they will be more likely to stay calm and be receptive. When you are dealing with someone with high strung personality, this is the best way to talk to them about anything serious.

2. If You Start Getting Tense, Take A Break

man waking on train rail

If you start to get tense or overwhelmed because of their stress level, take a break from the person as much as possible. Don't answer all of their phone calls, avoid places that they frequent, and limit as much contact as possible. One of the traits of type A personality is a co-dependent nature. This means that, if you make yourself readily available all the time, they can become extremely high-maintenance. If you can, gently remind them that you have an understanding of what they need, but you have other things going on in your life as well, and can't always be at their disposal.

3. Keep Your Body Language Calm And Relaxed

person lying on chair and facing on body of water

While dealing with someone with a high strung personality, it is best to keep your body language calm. One of the traits of high strung personality is that they can usually pick up on hostile body language fairly quickly, meaning if they do, they will likely become very stressed, very quickly. People who have type A personality don't like when they feel as though they are stressing other people out. They are very empathetic by nature, meaning that when you're visibly stressed, they're stressed. Try and keep yourself from getting agitated, and if you feel the onset of aggravation, walk away until you can regain your composure.

4. Watch Your Tone

selective color photography of person portraying of being fragile

Another way to trigger a high strung person to stress-out is your tone. When people get stressed out, it shows in their voice as well as their body. It's best to keep this in mind while dealing with someone who has a type A personality. Also, when approaching someone with a high strung personality with a problem, keep your tone light and reassuring instead of aggressive. Aggression can set off a high strung person and lead them to feel overwhelmed.

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5. Be Sympathetic, Not Empathetic

white corded headphones

Understanding someone with a type A personality is critical in dealing with them. They require sympathy for their plight as much as anyone else. Listen to their concerns compassionately and with sympathy. However, do not cross the line into empathy. This can lead you to become stressed out yourself, as well as eliciting them to become co-dependent on you.

Sympathy will help them to feel nurtured without feeling like they are co-dependent on you. People with high strung personalities need support and constant confirmation that they are doing well in life, meaning that you should tell them they are when you feel that it has been earned. However, you can't help them with everything. People with high strung personalities need to learn to cope with problems in a healthy way, and being empathetic and constantly helping them will only hinder them from being able to do it on their own.

6. Limit Co-Dependency

woman and man sitting on shore beside two surfboards during daytime

One of the major traits that everyone with high strung personality has in common is their co-dependent nature. The need for constant confirmation that they are doing well and are doing the right thing can be taxing on everyone that they are close with. If you love someone with a high strung personality, understand and nurture when you can, but don't jump at their beckoned call. Again, this will hinder their independence further.

7. Limit The Energy You Spend On Them

man covering his mouth

High strung personality characteristics can be taxing on everyone that they love, and they know it. Most of the time, they sincerely can't help it. And, the knowledge that they are hard to deal with can make their anxiety and stress levels worse, along with yours. If you feel yourself focusing more energy on them than you do on yourself, it's time to take a step back, either mentally or physically. When you love them, you don't want to take a physical back-step from them. However, you need to be able to put up a mental-wall to their stress levels. Don't waste your energy trying to fix every single problem they bring to your attention and don't allow yourself to get exhausted listening to their many worries.

8. Limit The Time You Spend With Them

woman sitting on stall near wall mounted desk

If using a mental-block doesn't work, it may be time to take a physical break from this person. If you feel drained by the energy you put into the relationship, try limiting the time you spend with them. Avoid certain places that they frequent and don't allow yourself to get pulled into their stress. The characteristics of type A personality are exhausting for everyone involved. Don't let it exhaust you to the point where you are neglecting your mental health and well-being.

9. When They Get Animated, Deflect!

and breathe neon sign on tre

Type A characters have a tendency to get over-animated in situations that are difficult for them to handle. If this is the case, try to deflect their attention. Some reasons that a high strung person may become animated are: things didn't go as planned. Their co-dependent abruptly cut down time spent with them (this should be done slowly for this reason). They took too much on at once and have become overwhelmed. They forgot something on their mental to-do list. Regardless of what their initial reason is, high strung people get animated very easily. The best thing to do for them at this point is to change the subject, divert their attention from the problem, and be compassionate.

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10. Try To Stay Open-Minded

row of four men sitting on mountain trail

High string personalities are not the same as high-maintenance. However, one similarity between the two is that they both require understanding. Those who are high-maintenance tend to be more bossy and uptight in other areas, where people with high strung personalities tend to be overly anxious and detail-oriented. Either which way, they both require a great deal of compassion and understanding. Keeping an open mind while dealing with them can help a high strung person feel understood and, in a way, justified. When a high strung person gets anxiety about something, having someone understand why they are anxious can be enough to calm them and sort out the problem.

11. Avoid High Strung Personality Types In Stress Mode

woman wearing white dress sitting on bed inside room

If your high strung person is in stress-mode and is overwhelmed, it isn't the best time to engage in any conversation. Let them come to you. If they don't, leave them be. High strung people are not angry or rude by nature. However, stress can do terrible things to people and they are likely to snap at you for interrupting them while they are working on a problem. Another thing to note about high strung people: They are extremely introverted, even though they can be social butterflies. High strung people have a tendency to live in their own head. With their extensive lists of to-do's and desires, it's hard for them to snap out of it. When they are in that mode, it's best to just let them be until they snap out of it.

12. Stay Calm

woman hug each other

It is important to stay calm with a high strung person, no matter what the situation is. Stress can make people snappy and say things that they don't mean. Understanding this and staying calm in the face of it will make your high strung person appreciate you that much more. High strung people require immense amounts of patience. If you can't be patient at that time, it's best to walk away until you have calmed down.

13. Don't Be Insulting

laughing woman covering her mouth

Insulting someone with high strung personality is not just a terrible idea, it's rude. When someone with a high strung personality is talking to you about a problem or concern, they are looking for your feedback, and they get enough of dismissal. When you are insulting, this person will no longer trust you and is very likely to jump headlong into stress-mode. High strung people are sensitive by nature and good-hearted. If they come across as abrasive, it best to keep in mind that it is completely unintentional.

14: End the Relationship

woman wearing white and orange top

If you have exhausted everything on this list and are still having a hard time dealing with this person, it may be time to call it quits. It is never easy ending a relationship with someone, especially someone with a high strung personality. But, you need to focus on yourself too. If you are having trouble focusing on yourself due to dealing with someone who has a high strung personality, leaving the relationship may be the best thing for both of you. You can't allow yourself to become someone's scapegoat or punching bag because you are empathetic to their situation and, if this is how you feel, leaving the relationship is the best option for your mental well-being.

There you have it, 14 tips on how deal with someone with a high strung personality. While we hope you never had to end the relationship, it is always important to consider your mental well-being first.

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