35 Most Important Questions To Ask Your Ex After A Breakup

Have you been dumped by an ex? Here are some questions every girl wants to ask their ex and know the answers to as to get closure after the breakup.

By Nicolle L.
35 Most Important Questions To Ask Your Ex After A Breakup

It starts as a pleasant evening

Unless you live a sheltered life with no social interaction or are the one that snatches the doe-eyed hope out of all your boyfriends’ dreams, you’ve been here before. You and your boyfriend are walking together at the park. He's as attentive as usual. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. Once you reach the restaurant, you order lobster tail. Hey, you've had a long week, and a girl deserves a treat. You catch him giving the waiter a quick side nod. Did he just tell the waiter to nix your order? What the hell?! "What?" the only question you can think of asking. "Nothing," your boyfriend avoids your gaze. "Are you mad because I picked this restaurant?" you're starting to get angry at this point. He fiddles with his fork. "No, nothing like that. We just won't be here long enough to eat." What was the point of coming to a restaurant if you aren't going to eat? What is he thinking? "I don't understand." "Um, well." He trails off as he tosses the fork onto the table. "I've been thinking, and I think we should break up." Not only are you not going to get lobster, but also he's breaking up with you in front of a bunch of strangers. Did he think you were going to make a scene if you weren't in public? "I don't understand." For some reason, you can't think of anything else to say.

The Break Up

The excuses exes make to break up

The dreaded “I love you, but...” is one, bu the list goes on. Here are some others: “We’re just not good together,” “You’re too good for me,” “You deserve to find someone who will treat you like a princess,” “It’s me, not you.” And what about “We're moving in two different directions”. Where the hell is he moving to?! He’s still living in his mom’s basement.

Does the truth set you free?

Why won’t they tell the truth? What is the truth and what would you do if you got it? Probably feel worse than you do now. Here’s a list of questions all girls wish they could ask and get an honest answer to. Of course, that honesty would feel much better if it came in the form of “I made a huge mistake. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. Will you take me back?” To which the resounding answer would be “No!” before turning on our heel and walking away. Who wants to be with a loser that makes you cry? Ugly, mascara-streaked tears. Tammy Faye Bakker tears. Nobody can pull that off and still look good.

How brave are you?

Are you brave and strong enough? The answers are there if you’re willing to ask and as long as he has enough will to answer them. The answers will help you when you find the 'real' one, the guy that would never grind your feelings into the dirt at your feet. You’re Prince Charming is out there. You just must keep looking.

Here's your chance for closure

You’ve caught him at the bar. He can’t get away without looking like a jerk. He’s had a couple of beers. You know how he can’t keep his mouth shut when he’s been drinking. Now’s your chance.

The questions to ask your ex for closure

1. One of the most important questions you can ask your ex is: "Did you ever love me?" Add to the question by asking: "Or did you say it to get me in bed?" 2. It is important to know where you ex was coming from when he began dating you? "When we started dating, did you want us to last or did you have an exit strategy already in place?" 3. What do your ex's friends think of you? "Do your friends think I’m the neurotic ex-girlfriend?" 4. What did you ex think of your friends? Ask and find out. "Did you like my friends or did you only hang out with them to be on my good side?" 5. How long had your ex been thinking of breaking up with you? Ask the question: "When did you realize we weren’t going to work out?"

Is your ex beginning to squirm?

6. It is good to find out what he didn't like about you, so you can ask: "What irritated you the most about me?" 7. Here's a tricky question to ask your ex: "How was I in bed compared to your other girlfriends?" 8. Does your ex think about you after the break-up? "Do you think about me and wonder if I’m happy?" 9. What is your ex doing now? Is he seeing someone else? Ask the question and find out. "Are you seeing someone else?" If the answer is yes, the next question to ask should be: "Do you think you will settle down with her?"

Don't let your ex off the hook

10. Did your ex's family ever like you? "What does your family think of me?" Another good question to ask is: "Do they wish that I was still around or are they glad you dumped me?" 11. Were the places you went together with your ex your special places or the place he takes all the girls? It's time to ask the question: "Do you still go to the places that we used to go as a couple? Who are you taking there?" 12. Did he find your time together important? Ask your ex the question: "What did you keep from our trips together?" Continue the question with "Where do you keep it?" 13. How is your ex handling the break-up? "Are you happy?" 14. What was your ex doing when you weren't together? Find out by asking the question: "Did you flirt with other girls while we were together?" 15. Are you ready to find out if he was having sex with someone else when you were together? If you are, ask the question: "Did you physically cheat on me while we were together?" 16. Do people still ask him if you two are still together and what does he say? Ask: "What do you say about us when people ask why we aren’t still together?"

Is there still a chance for you and your ex to get back together?

17. Is there still a chance you could get back with your ex? Are there things that you could have done to make it work? Ask your ex: "What could I have done differently to make things work?" 18. Does your ex want to get back together with you? "What would it take for us to get back together?" 19. Is your ex missing you? Ask and find out what he misses the most. "What do you miss about me the most?" 20. Is your ex sad that the relationship didn't work out? "When you think about us, do you wish we could have worked it out?" 21. Was the break-up as hard on your ex as it was on you? Ask your ex the following question to find out: "Was our break-up hard on you?"

Some more questions to ask your ex for closure

22. Would your ex do things differently if you began your relationship today? "What would you do differently if we had just met today?" 23. Were you just a girlfriend or were you actually friends? Ask your ex the following question: "Were we ever friends?" 24. What did your ex enjoy about being your boyfriend? "What do you miss about us as a couple?" 25. Is your ex a serial dater? Ask this question and find out: "Do you ever see yourself in a permanent relationship?"

Where do you go from here?

26. Is there something wrong with your ex? Yeah, probably! "What made you hold back from a deeper emotional connection between us?" 27. "Did you think I cheated on you?" You can learn a lot about how you present yourself by asking another question. "Why or why not?" 28. Does your ex bad-mouth about you with his friends? "Have you made fun of me when talking to your friends about me?" 29. Who encouraged your ex to break up with you? Was it his idea or someone else's? Ask the question and find out: "Did your friends or family try to talk you into breaking up with me or make our relationship work out?"

What might you want to do differently in the future?

30. Did you contribute to the break-up? It is important to find out for a future relationship. Ask your ex and find out. "Did I push you away?" 31. Did you cling too much to your ex? Don't beat around the bush and just ask the question: "Was I too clingy?" 32. Are you a perfectionist? How did it impact your relationship? "Was I too much of a perfectionist?" 33. "Did my career intimidate you?" Another question to ask your ex about work is: "Did my hours at work make us distant?" 34. Were you the opposite? Ask your ex and find out: "Did I keep you too distant to keep from appearing too clingy?" 35. Has he moved on? "Have you found the one? What makes her different?"

What will you do with the information?

You’ve asked the questions and gotten the answers. What will you do with the information that you’ve received? Is there any value in his answers? What could you do differently in a future relationship? Or is it better to chalk this one up as a loss and move on?

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