60 Intimate questions to ask your girlfriend or spouse

Ask your girlfriend intimate questions to get to know her

By Evelyn
60 Intimate questions to ask your girlfriend or spouse

Best Way to Get to Know Her

If you are a little shy, getting to know a girl could be tough. Even if you're not shy, knowing the right way to get to know your girl is no easy task. Talking to a girl could be easy if your outgoing and have some experience but really getting to know a girl, it takes a lot of work.

If you're not a great conversationalist, you could learn to be. Learn how to have real conversations with more than one-word sentences. Maybe you don't feel comfortable doing this, but guys this is the only way you can really know and maybe understand that girl that has caught your fancy.

So, what's the best way to know her? There are some things that you can do.

1. Have a series of small talks first

If you want to get better at something, you practice it as much as possible. You can apply this to your journey on getting to know her better. Have small talks with her, maybe during a break, talk for 5 minutes and end with a "Talk to you later."

2. Really listen

This is key, she's talking to you, the least you could do is listen and pay attention. It's a sure way to gain her trust.

3. Make eye contact

Looking at her when you're conversing is important. We're not saying that you have to stare at her in a creepy way, just that you need to establish a connection by making eye contact. Maybe you're not comfortable with this, but you need to do it, so find a way.

4. Smile

A smile really opens doors, it's the best way to put someone at ease, to make her feel comfortable. So put on your best smile, even better if you make it flirty.

5. Ask questions

This may seem kind of obvious, but this is the best way to know her! If you don't ask things you want to know about her, she's not going to tell you. You need to ask straightforward questions. It doesn't have to be an interrogatory, once in a while during your conversation ask her about herself, her family, her job. This'll keep the conversation going and interesting.

How to ask your girlfriend or spouse intimate questions

Intimate questions are not only related to bedroom conversations, it includes them but intimate also cover topics like childhood dreams or future scenarios together. Things you're curious about, questions about her past, her thoughts and feelings about love and of course, serious questions about intimacy.

How to ask these questions? First, you can find an environment where the both of you feel relaxed, maybe a walk in the woods, or at the beach. Maybe just sitting on the couch drinking a glass of wine or maybe you both have a special place where you like to talk.

If you really want to have a conversation then it needs to flow, so don't push for answers, some questions may not be easy to answer or she may not feel comfortable answering them. Know when to change the topic. Try to make so you don't have many interruptions. If the conversation is with your spouse, try to time it so the kids are down for the night or plan a date night where you really can talk.

When you ask these intimate questions to your girlfriend or spouse you have to be open and really listen. Maybe the answer she'll give you is not what you wanted to hear, if that's the case don't get mad or judge her. You're asking the questions because you want to know her better, so if she's being honest, you are fulfilling your wish.

If you didn't like her answer, take some time to ponder it and accept that you're two very different people, so it's OK to disagree on some issues, talk it out some more and get to a compromise (that's what relationships and especially marriages are about).

Don't ask all the questions in your head all at once, maybe divide them in chunks. First, ask about some general topics: preferences, how she sees you, how you can describe each other to others. Then next time you can ask about things and people from her past relationships. In another occasion ask her about the future, about how things are going. 

Find the occasion to ask serious questions about intimacy, what can you do inside and outside of the bedroom to keep things interesting. Also, find a space to talk about love to find out what will speak to her heart.

30 Relationship Questions About Herself, Family and Past Relationships

Now it's time to actually ask the questions. What questions to ask? You don't ask questions to know what she is doing, how she is, you have to ask questions to know who she is because the point is not only to have a conversation, the point is to share. 

Let's start with some questions about herself. If she's your spouse, you may know the answers (we hope), but people change through time and circumstances so it's not a bad idea to do a refresh, maybe she'll surprise you with her answers.

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Questions about herself

Q1. What role does physical attraction play in whether or not you pursue a relationship?

Q2. What is it that you always wanted to do as a child but never got the chance to do it?

Q3. What's the best surprise or gift you've received ever?

Q4. Would you like to be famous? Why and how?

Q5. Do you have a bucket list? What are the top 10 things on it?

Q6. What is the one bad and difficult habit that you want to break?

Q7. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?

Q8. Which musical instrument would you like to play and master?

Q9. Do you have any phobias? Have you overcome any and how?

Q10. Do you have some dream or goal that you haven't achieved? How can I help you achieve it?

Questions about family

Usually, the family is a big part of someone's life, if that's the case with your girl then you'll want to know things about her family or what she perceives as a family. It could give you an insight into the future. You may know some details about your spouse's family but maybe you'll find something new.

Q11. Are you close to your family?

Q.12. What's the best teaching any of your parents gave you?

Q13. Do you see yourself as a good mom?

Q14. Do you have a family tradition? What is your favorite one?

Q15. What is the best advice your mom or dad gave you?

Q16. Do you and your brothers and/or sisters fight a lot when you were kids?

Q17. Did you travel as a family when you were kids? What was your favorite place to visit?

Q18. Do you see our family expanding?

Q19. If you could change anything about your family, what would it be?

Q.20 What is your definition of family?

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Ask questions to take a look into her past

Maybe you're curious about things and details about her past. Maybe she'll have some fond memories that she'd like to share with you if you ask the right questions. Digging a little bit into the past could shed a small light into what your future with her could be. 

Q21. Have you been in love before?

Q22. How old were you when you started dating?

Q23. Do you have a bad memory about a past relationship?

Q.24 Back in the days did you had a role model?

Q25. What was your ambition as a child? 

Q.26 Is there a moment in your past that you'll love to relive? Is it a romantic one?

Q27. What was your favorite toy as a child?

Q28. When you were a child, did you imagine your life as it is or was it something different?

Q29. Are you still in touch with your high school friends?

Q30. Did you learn something important about your past relationships?

30 Sexually Related Questions To Ask Her

Intimacy is an important part of a serious relationship. Talking about sexually related topics could be fun when you choose the right questions to ask. It can help you understand her better. By asking the right questions you'll have an exciting, interesting and even informative conversation.

Q31. When we first me, what did you notice about me first?

Q32. Are you comfortable with public displays of affection?

Q33. Is there something I could do to make our relationship/marriage more exciting?

Q34. How do you like for me to express my love for you?

Q35. Is there something I can do outside of the bedroom to keep the feelings of intimacy going all day?

Q36. How often would you like for us to be intimate?

Q36. Which part of my body do you like best?

Q37. Where is your favorite spot to be kissed?

Q38. How and where do you like to be touched?

Q39. Do you have any fantasies that I could help fulfill?

Q40. Is there anything you'd like to try that we haven't done before?

Q41. Do you have special underwear you'd like to wear?

Q42. What are your thoughts on sex toys? Would you like for us to use them?

Q43. What's your idea of good foreplay?

Q44. Do you have a favorite position? 

Q45. Is our relationship physical enough for you?

Q46. Where is the most bizarre place you have done it?

Q47. Have you ever wanted to roleplay?

Q48. Do you think the bed is the only place to make love?

Q49. Are there any moves you'd like to try that we haven't tried before?

Q50. Do you have a bedroom bucket list?

Q51. If I buy for you sexy lingerie, would you model it for me?

Q.52 Do you like to be teased?

Q53. Do you like dirty talking?

Q54. Do you dream about me? Would you like for your dreams to come true?

Q55. Do you have in mind any wild adventure you'd like to take me on?

Q56. Have you ever done it in a public place?

Q57. Do you like to cuddle?

Q58. How did it feel to make love for the first time?

Q59. Would you do a striptease for me?

Q60. If you could kiss me goodnight every night, would you?


Now that you have tons of ideas on what questions to ask to get to know her better, you have no excuse not to do it. If this is the girl you've been waiting for, the trouble would be worth it. 

Make time with your spouse and ask some of these questions, maybe it's what's missing in your marriage these days, spend some time alone to really have a conversation so you can share and potentially ignite some sparks.