Dating over 40: 10 Ways to putting yourself out there

Have you heard the good news that 40 is the new 20? Time for celebration for all those who just celebrated their 40^th with some trepidation and gloom. More so if you are single and had internally resigned yourself to a life sans any romance. Read on if you fall in this category.

The answer to this question is a resounding “No!” of course, not!

For several reasons these days, marriages are not as secure as they used to be. Divorce rates are climbing and relationships are not as solid. On the brighter side, it just shows that more and more people are choosing to walk away from unhappy or abusive relationships.

Also sometimes, the early and unexpected loss of a loved one leaves many incapable of entering into a romantic relationship.

Besides, one is never too late for a second chance at love.

The dating scene for people in their 40s is different from the ones for people in their twenties and thirties. Keep in mind the following pointers and you will find yourself charting the dating waters like you had never left it.

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Dress appropriately for your date. Keep in mind that ‘dressing appropriately’ is not the same as ‘dressing way up’. Bear in mind the time of the day and location. You certainly don’t want to come across as someone trying too hard, so leave the flashy makeup back home if you’re meeting at a place that doesn’t require you to dress up. At the same time, do not dress down too much either.  That means the sweatshirt and sneakers stay at home. Try to find a suitable middle path.

This is mostly for women. Don't try to appear nonchalant by walking in late. This will definitely not earn any free brownie points for you.

On the other hand, if you are the guy, then strive to arrive a bit early so you don’t make your date wait.

The first impression doesn’t necessarily have to be the last one. Many times our first impression of someone proves to be way off.
 

Hold your judgment when you are meeting someone for the first time and give them time to settle down. Being anxious or nervous about meeting someone for the first time can make even the best of us act in a manner not usually true to us. So cut some slack here.

You may have been treated badly by your ex and have every reason to vent. But seriously, don’t do this on your first date or better yet not even on your first five. You may be angry and justifiably so, but talking negatively about your past relationship will only put you in a bad light.

This is a strict no-no. You both don’t know each other well enough yet to even come close to discussing this for obvious reasons.

The rules above are also the advice you will need when dating. Although you must reserve your judgment on the first date, don’t ignore any red flags that keep popping up. A date who constantly derides their ex is surely someone who is carrying a lot of baggage from the past relationship. This is not a good sign.

Similarly, anyone who shows an overtly interest in your finances can be someone you could steer clear off. Do not disclose too much about your personal life to someone you don’t really know that well. Always pick a public and safe place to meet on the first few dates and tell someone close to you who you are meeting and where you will be at.

The following are some ways you can meet new people to have a potential date with:

This is the best place to start as it opens up before you a plethora of options on the singles you can meet. Registering on a reputable dating website does open up a whole lot of opportunities for you.

Many popular dating sites have free downloadable apps which you can download onto your smartphone. These are very user-friendly and you don't have to spend too much time and energy to navigate them.

Clubs normally involve people having the same interests to meet up and send time together. The chances of you meeting someone sharing your common interests lays a good foundation for you to build a connection with.

Let your close friends and family know that you are interested in dating again. The chances that they may know someone you can potentially get along with are actually quite high.

At times when nothing is happening on your dating scene, you may have to initiate things and create opportunities for yourself. Throw a party and invite a friend whose friend has piqued your interest for some time but you’ve not formally met. 

Age-specific events are more effective in bringing people in your age group within your reach. Find and register in local events to meet potential matches. 

This is for those of you who have kids. Volunteering in your kid’s school activities and attending school events is an excellent way to meet any single parents and for all you know, looking to date too.

Speed dating events are a great way to meet new people looking to date. Find the ones that are happening around you and the chances of you meeting someone interesting moves up by several notches.

Sometimes you have to take the risk and start making things happening for yourself. Do not let your hesitancy or shyness take away the opportunity of meeting someone interesting. This could be at a party or a social gathering or any other place where you have the opportunity to meet new people.

Believe in yourself at all times. Join the gym, enroll in a fitness program, and get a make-over. In fact, do whatever it takes to make you look good and builds up your self-confidence. Believe that no matter the initial hiccups you will finally achieve success.

By the time people hit their 40s, they more or less know what they want from their lives. This includes if they want to continue in a bad marriage or not. People in their 40s have settled into their professions and might be even peaking at it. Dating after 40 is a definite option for those looking for a life-long relationship.

You want to feel and look your best on your date but at the same time make it look effortless. Read on for some tips to help you achieve that

 

• Wear something suitable to the location where you’re meeting your date.

• Dress appropriately for the time of day and this includes jewelry.

• Wear something you already own and know you look great in.

• Wear comfortable lingerie to avoid any uncomfortable pinches and urges to adjust them.

• Don’t overdo the makeup.

• Don’t dress sexy; aim for classy.

• Wear sensible footwear so that you will not be tottering uncomfortably.

The Readers Digest referenced Dr. Jodi De Luca, a U.S. based Ph.D. and licensed clinical psychologist, speaking about finding love in the 40s. She said, ‘The emotional brain is seemingly void of chronologic age or time. We can and do fall in love at any age”.

With scientific research to back you up as well; there is nothing really to hold you back.