Selfish Husband Signs, Traits, And Characteristics
Find out if you are married to a selfish husband with these signs
Feb 18, 2019
Signs Of A Selfish Husband
There are many things that cause unhealthy relationships and selfishness is one of them. This refers to the act of being concerned only about your welfare without thinking of how your actions are affecting those around you. We are all guilty of acting in a selfish manner at some point in our life hence this is something that we should all work towards eliminating especially when we get into relationships.
Some of the things that make many husbands become selfish include; male chauvinism where he thinks he is entitled to have a superior position at all times. When a couple is blessed with a baby, it can at times make the husband start being selfish as the woman ends up spending most of her time taking care of the baby. This makes the man to demand attention as he feels like he is left out. The way your husband was brought up can because of his selfishness especially if he was raised as the only child where he did not learn to share. Having siblings is very important as you grow up learning o share everything you have and this teaches you from an early age not to be self-centered. The following are some of the signs of a selfish husband:
1. He rarely apologizes
When you find that your husband rarely says sorry, this should be a red flag that you have a selfish husband. Selfish individuals rarely find fault with their actions and instead, they always blame their partners. This means that according to them, they are always right which is why they see no need to apologize since they can do no wrong.
2. He is always the boss
This is a very common sign of a narcissistic husband as he always wants everything to go his way. He does not consider your feelings or even opinion because he always wants to be in control. This makes him disrespectful and arrogant whenever things do not go his way.
3. There is nothing in your life that interests him
This is very painful as you will notice that he is not interested in your ambitions, dreams, and even needs as he is always thinking about himself. The saddest part of it all is that he expects you to be interested in his dreams, ambitions, and needs because the world only revolves around him.
4. He doesn’t compliment you
Compliments are essential in every relationship as they make us feel good and appreciated. So, when your husband rarely compliments you it shows that he is a self-centered individual. Selfish persons find it hard to compliment other people because they do not care about their efforts and achievements.
5. He always criticizes you
This is another obvious sign of a selfish husband. When you are in a relationship, you should be each other critics as it will help both of you to be better individuals. When you find that your husband does not have anything good to say about you all the time, it’s a sign that he is a self-centered individual.
Examples and Characteristics Of A Selfish Husband
Traits and characteristics of a narcissist husband are such as:
1. Your expeditions are always where your husband wants to go
Outings are very important in marriage as they help to bring the couple closer together. Normal couples usually discuss things such as the location of the outings, costs, and the appropriate time to go for a picnic because you respect and care for one another. When you have a selfish husband, you will notice that he will never consult you on things such as your outings as a couple. He will always pick the location and the time without considering how you feel about the whole thing.
2. He asks you to cut on spending but he does not cut his
If not properly addressed, finances have the power to become hot topics in marriages. This is why you should address the topic together as a couple in order to come up with a budget that is suitable for your relationship. If you find that your expenditure as a couple is not sustainable, you should talk to decide on the things that you should both cut back in order for you to live within your means. A selfish husband, however, do not see it that way. According to him, you are the one who should make the sacrifices and cut back on your expenditures. He does not see the need for him to cut back because he sees himself as the boss hence he is not answerable to you.
3. He never takes the initiative to help you
A healthy relationship involves partners being there for each other at all times and supporting one another. Life is hard and you are guaranteed to face some ups and downs at times and it’s during such times that your husband should cheer you up and offer you a shoulder to lean on. When you have a self-centered husband, you will find that he never comes to your aid on any matter out of his own will as he only agrees to do things only after you ask him to. Even when you are down and feeling blue, he never makes any attempt to cheer you up as a spouse is supposed to.
4. You don’t have a say in family purchases
When in marriage, big decisions such as what to purchase should be made by both partners. If your husband does not involve you in decisions involving purchasing of things for the family such as furniture, car, and even kitchen items, it shows that he is self-centered. By making decisions such as this all by himself, he shows that he does not care about your opinion and does not respect you.
5. He expects to have sex whenever he feels like
Sex is a very big thing in romantic relationships such as marriages. In a healthy marriage, sex should be enjoyed by both partners which means that married couples should have sex when they are both ready. This is important as sometimes you might find yourself with the mood for sex and your partner should be able to respect this - it’s normal. A selfish husband, however, always expects to have with you whenever he feels like even without considering your moods.
What To Do And How To Live With A Husband Who Is Selfish
Finding yourself in an unfulfilling marriage puts you in a very challenging position as you have very limited options. You can either give up on the institution and part ways, or you can stay and cope with the situation. The following are some of the ways of dealing with a selfish husband:
1. Speak up
When you realize that your husband is self-centered, one of the best things you can do for yourself at that point is to speak up. Without speaking up, your partner will continue with his narcissist behavior which eventually will bring your marriage to its knees. The way you bring this issue to his attention matters as you are not supposed to attack him as that will cause him to be defensive. You are supposed to talk about the issue in a calm manner; this way you will be able to talk to each other about it instead of having a fight.
2. Set your boundary
After you have spoken your mind and you still see that he is not changing his selfish ways, this is the next step you should take. This is where you draw the line not to be crossed. You should carefully determine what you are willing to let slide and what you cannot afford to ignore.
3. Give yourself the attention you have been giving him
A selfish partner ensures that all your attention is focused on him while he does not reciprocate. This ends up hurting you and the only way of turning the tide is by giving yourself all the attention you have been giving your self-centered husband.
Conclusion
Being in a one-sided relationship or even marriage is draining both physically and emotionally. A good and healthy marriage should be balanced as that ensures that it serves the needs of both partners and not just one person. If you have a selfish husband, don’t give up. At least not until you have tried your best to change the situation. Knowing what makes him selfish and what to do makes a lot of difference.
Being in an abusive relationship is very challenging and unfortunately, most people usually find themselves in such kind of relationships at one point of our life.