8 Ways To Dealing With An Emotionally Abusive Husband
Effective ways to deal with an emotionally abusive husband
Feb 16, 2019
Traits And Characteristics Of An Emotionally Abusive Husband
Being in an abusive relationship is very challenging and unfortunately, most people usually find themselves in such kind of relationships at one point of our life. There are different types of abuse but the one thing they all have in common is that they are driven by insecurity. The abuser usually suffers from a fear which is what mainly feeds his or her insecurity and it can either be the fear of seeming to be weak or even the fear of not being adorable.
The following are some of the traits and characteristics of an emotionally abusive husband you should look out for:
1. He lacks maturity
An emotionally abusive husband will often show a lack of maturity by having some flare-ups anytime he does not get what he wanted. He will also make preposterous demands and leave you wondering what exactly you did to make him behave in that manner.
2. He isolates you from your friends and family
This is one of the most common characteristics of an emotionally abusive partner as he aims to control you. Our friends and family are a very important part of us as they are our support system which means that they contribute to a healthy relationship. By ensuring you do not have your support system; your abuser succeeds in ensuring that you only depend on him.
3. He often puts you down verbally
If your partner has a habit of putting you down verbally especially in public then this is a sign that he is an emotionally abusive husband. The primary reason why he does this is so as to cause embarrassment to you. He knows this will negatively affect your self-esteem.
4. He constantly has mood swings
If it’s impossible for you to know what kind of mood your husband will be in because he constantly changes his mood then this is a clear sign that he is an abusive partner. Living with a partner who is like this is very challenging as you always have to keep on guessing which can bring you high levels of anxiety.
5. He is very jealous
A little jealousy is healthy in a relationship as it acts as a constant reminder of your love and it can also help to reignite the spark in your relationship. However, when jealousy becomes too much, it stops being helpful and starts being unhealthy for the relationship as it makes him to be possessive.
While part of a marriage, an alarming number of women tend to only see the good parts and therefore unwillingly ignore certain red alerts regarding their husband.
How To Confront When Your Husband Is Emotionally Abusive
One of the ways of dealing with an emotionally abusive husband is confronting him. This is one of the best ways of getting your power back as abusers are not people who you can reason with as most of the times they appear to be insensitive, impatient, self-centered, unreasonable, and unforgiving. The following are some of the effective ways of confronting an abusive husband:
1. Increase your self-esteem
It’s impossible for you to effectively deal with emotional abuse if you do not work towards increasing your self-esteem which is negatively affected by the abuse. Raising your self-esteem will empower you to not only be able to repel the abuse directed towards you but also to bring self-criticism to a halt. Having high self-esteem will also enable you to help you to rebuild your life. Ways of increasing your self-esteem include going out more often and socializing and also doing activities that do not in any way involve your husband.
2. Reach out for support
It’s impossible for you to recover from any type of abuse in a relationship without reaching out for help. There are very many ways of getting support and they include reaching out and reconnecting with your family and friends who will provide you with a reliable and effective support network. Having people who appreciate and value you helps to improve your mental health, repairing the damage caused by the emotional abuse you have been receiving. Another way of getting support is going for individual therapy.
3. Get more information about emotional abuse
Knowledge is power! This is why you should learn everything you can about emotional and any other form of abuse as this information will empower you. Studies show that persons who have been emotionally abused tend to get co-dependent which makes it even more difficult for them to get confront their abusers. It’s also important for you to know your rights which are such as; you have the right to end or even change the relationship if you feel like it’s no longer fulfilling.
How To Live With An Emotionally Abusive Husband
Living with an emotionally abusive husband can be very draining as the abusive partner always creates a difficult environment for you in order for him to be in control at all times. An emotionally abusive husband will humiliate, intimidate, and even coerce you, leaving you at his mercy. If you would still want to continue living with your abusive husband, the following are some of the ways of getting your life back when you are in such situation:
1. Set some boundaries
Drawing the line is very important as it helps you to take back control of your life again, making his abuse ineffective. You can start by learning to restrain yourself and avoid by all means returning his abuse in kind or engaging him in any way. Instead, try talking to your partner after he has calmed down and let him know that you expect him to treat you with respect and you are sorry he is disappointed.
2. Prepare a safety plan
If you are in an abusive relationship, it’s recommended that you develop a safety plan which is practical. This is very essential as things can easily escalate and you find your life in danger and it’s in moments such as this that your safety plan should come to your rescue. So even if your partner has never been physically violent, it’s good for you to have an escape route or even identify safe places of your home where you can take refuge in case things go from bad to worse. Since by now you should have reconnected again with your support system, you should also make an effort of coming up with a signal that will alert them in case you ever need help.
3. Let go of resentment
Living with a partner who does not appreciate you and treats you badly day in day out can make you hate him with a passion. This, however, is not helpful and no matter how hard it might be, letting go of the hate towards your husband makes it easier for you to heal and to move forward with your life.
What To Do When Your Husband Starts Abusing You Emotionally
All relationships begin on a high note where all the parties are happy and living their dream. After some time, however, some people start showing their true colors which is why it can take you by surprise when your husband starts to abuse you emotionally. The following are some of the things you should do when in such a situation:
1. Stop blaming yourself
It’s very easy for you to start blaming yourself as your abusive husband might lead you to believe that it’s your fault. This is far from the truth as there is nothing you can do that makes it right for him to abuse you in any way. You are supposed to be treated with respect even when you might be in the wrong. He is the one who have opted not to address any issue he might have with you and instead he has chosen to abuse you.
2. Do not engage with him
Choosing not to engage an abuser can be hard at times but it’s the right call. Whatever your abusive husband might try doing, be it throwing insults or even starting an argument with you. You should avoid engaging them and instead just walk away from him and give him time to cool down. It’s only after he has a cool head that you can try to reason with him, engaging him when he is enraged will only make things worse for you.
Conclusion
Knowing the traits of emotional abuse and the various ways of dealing with a partner who is abusive is very important as emotional abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse. If no action is taken, emotional abuse leaves you with very low self-esteem, no self-worth, and worst of all - at the mercy of your abuser. Knowing the traits of an emotionally abusive husband such as the ones highlighted in this article and also how to deal with him will enable you to avoid getting trapped in a relationship with such a man.
In an ideal marriage, partners communicate openly and respectfully, they are both selfless and dedicated to one another, and blissful harmony reigns over the household.