Cheating is not good in a relationship. Whatever the reasons are, it's not appropriate to do it to someone who you care about. It's painful for someone to experience it from the one that they love the most. It can ruin someone's trust and perspective in love. It can also deteriorate someone's way of thinking because they are hurt.
There will be times that when you look at the mirror, you'll think that there is something wrong with you. You'll start thinking that you did something bad to make him feel that you are not worthy of his love, but this is normal. If you feel this way, there is nothing to be ashamed of. However, don't let this pain control your way of thinking forever.
When your boyfriend cheats on you, the first thing you will feel is hatred. It could be for the person who cheated on you, for the one who caused it, and for yourself. You will feel this hatred against someone because you are in pain. You will undergo a myriad of emotions, but it’s expected when you’re trying to make sense of everything and move on.
Fortunately, there are a lot of ways to make coping easier; give these tips a try:
1. Talk to your Ex
It won't be easy, but as the saying goes, the truth will set you free. Talk to him directly and clarify things that you would want to know. Having closure in the relationship will make things better because it would help you move on.
You might be hearing things that you don't like, but you should pay attention to every detail that he will say to you for you to clearly understand why things and how things happened. Listen as best as you can but only do this when you’re fully prepared and calm.
3. Accept It
Learn to accept the reality. Accept that he will not come back anymore. Face your life without him. Remember that you are still two different individuals. If the relationship is not worth it anymore, accept that it’s already the end of it.
4. Set Boundaries
Guard yourself. During the healing process, you might need to be distant from those things that would remind you of him. Whether the relationship is still going or both of you decided to end it when your boyfriend cheated on you, it will be difficult to trust the same person again. So, limit your communication with him and avoid seeing him for a while.
5. Control Your Feelings
This could be wrong, but it doesn't mean that you need to fake your smile and deny that you are hurt. Hiding your feelings doesn't mean that you won't let him know what you feel. It is more on keeping it to yourself for you to keep your guards up. It is a way for you to not look desperate for his attention.
It's normal to cry when you are hurt but do it flawlessly. Divert your attention to more important things. If you have to hurt and cry, he doesn’t need to see it.
6. Don't Post it on Social Media
Ranting on your social media won't help you. It won't be of much help if more people, especially not close ones, will know about your status. Sure, you’ll get the attention, but people will definitely talk about you, and this is not helpful and healthy at all.
Let's face the fact that your issue will still not be solved that way. Rather than posting them, you can do something that will make you enjoy your time. You can travel with your buddies, eat whatever you want, start a new hobby, meet new people, write a journal and learn something new.
7. Give Yourself Time
Don't be disturbed with the things that are running in your head. Clear it up and start doing the right thing. You still have people around you that is worth your time. Find time to hang out with them and do some activities that are productive and will make you happy.
The healing process may require some time. Both of you need time to reflect on things. For sure, he badly needs it too, so give it to him and give it to yourself.
Cheating Could be in Different Forms
Cheating can be simply done by doing the following:
- Spending time exclusively with someone else
- Denying your relationship
- Spending intimate moment with someone
- Having intimate contact with a person.
Also, it may differ in situations. It depends on whom your partner has cheated on. It could be someone you know or someone you don't expect. So, here are the things you might consider doing when facing this kind of pain.
What Should I do When my Boyfriend Cheated on Me with his Ex?
If you want him back and you are looking for ways, there is nothing you can do. A man who returned to his ex might not be the right person you need to spend your life with. A man who is unsure with his feelings when he enters the relationship might not be the right man for you. So, you'll have to start making your life productive and making yourself happy again.
What Should I do When my Boyfriend Cheated on Me with a Man?
You tend to limit your partner to interact more with the opposite sex, simply because you are protecting the relationship. You are afraid of the thought that they could develop affection with another woman that will push them to cheat on you.
But, what if he cheated on you with a man? In this case, you should consider his preference in a relationship. If he preferred guys and are attracted to them, then it's time to leave. If he is happy, then move on with your life. After all, saving the relationship won't give you an assurance that he won't be attracted to the opposite sex anymore unless you did it both for yourselves. Let him be the person he wants to be as not accepting this will only backfire.
What Should I Do When my Boyfriend Cheated on Me with my Friend?
It is good to be surrounded by people who will stay with you whatever the circumstance is. We call them friends. Real friends are like treasures. But, if it goes differently, then why allow this person to stay in your life?
When your boyfriend cheated on you with a friend, the pain may differ simply because you are dealing with two of the most trusted people in your life. A friend is like a sister who you share your secrets and your happiness with. And, it won't be easy for you to accept that someone you trust that much will be the reason for your sorrow and pain.
However, life goes on and sooner or later, you'll still have to handle it. Talk to both of them and settle the things that you need to settle before you leave. Yes! Leave right away! A man who really loves you won't hurt you this way.
Be with people that will make you a better person. Find new connections so that you’ll be able to start healing and cut contact to both of them right away as this will only reopen the wounds and do no good.
How Do I Get Over It When Nothing Works?
On actual situations, things are really different when you are hurt. At some point, even your friends' advice would not work because your head is bombarded with different explications and tips on how to move forward.
But, when you realized how grateful you are because someone who doesn't deserve you is already gone, you will see the things you missed while spending your time with the wrong one. So, it's time to make time for yourself and do the things you haven't done.
Don’t get too pressured with what people are saying. What’s important is that you’re finding ways on how to cope up healthily. Explore new destinations, learn new skills, expand your talent and hobbies, in no time, you’ll see yourself smiling again and totally healed.
Whatever it is, we can never romanticize cheating. Cheating is still cheating. It can come in different forms, but you cannot erase the fact that you have been cheated on. Despite the pain that you have felt, seeking to revenge is not the answer to heal your broken heart.
Your family and friends are always there for you in good and in bad times; however, the only person who can help yourself is YOU. This may be a cliché but everything starts with you. Learn to accept so that you’ll find happiness again.
Remember, because of the experience, you can now apply all the things that you've experienced in your past relationships when you finally find someone who will truly cherish and value you as a woman.