8 Tips On Learning To Love Yourself
In a competitive world, it's hard to love yourself.
You find yourself scrolling through Facebook and think to yourself, "How come they get to go to wonderful and exciting places while I am stuck at home?" You try to shake off the bad vibes and switch to Instagram but all the beautiful people there make you feel fat and ugly. You turn to YouTube for a laugh but all you see are success stories of millionaires that are the same age as you.
You turn off your computer and climb back into bed. You feel like the biggest loser in the world and you feel so worthless that you wrap your blanket over yourself in a fetal position. Depression and self-loathing sets in. Troubling questions fill your mind: "Why can't I become like them?", or "What can I do to make my life be like theirs: happy and successful?"
Ways To Love Yourself Again
Even if it is difficult, you can learn to love yourself again.
Although you may tell yourself that you do not have to follow the crowd, that you are living your life the way you want to and in the pace that you want to, you still feel inadequate. Even if it is not the main cause, social media can have a great contribution to your feeling of worthlessness and self-loathing. After all, it is now a big part of any person's life. Everyone posts such beautiful pictures of adventures and great accomplishments.
However, we fail to forget how a person's social media page is only a reflection of the good moments of their lives. No one posts moments of embarrassment, failures, and disappointments. They too struggle in their daily life, everyone does. Every person must learn to love themselves in spite of difficulties and challenges, here is a list of ways that can help you do so.
1. Do not compare yourselves to other people
Stop comparing, be proud of who you are.
Maybe when you are feeling the toxicity of too many negative feelings, such as envy and anger, perhaps you may take that as a signal for you to turn off your phone and stay away from social media. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Each one of us has our own strengths and weaknesses, and each one is special in our own unique way. Our individuality is what makes us beautiful.
2. Spend time with people that make you feel loved
Your family and friends love you, you should too.
When the world has got you down and when another failure has embedded itself in your mind, do not carry the burden by yourself. Man is not made to be alone but he is meant to share his life with others - as Aristotle has said, 'Man is a social being.' So, if you do ever feel sad and alone, do not forget to seek the company of friends and family that love you and care for your well-being. They will never fail to make you feel accepted and wanted.
3. Invest time in doing activities that you like
Do whatever makes you happy.
Nothing much is more effective than generating happiness and positive energy than in spending some time doing something that you love. If you are passionate about art, computer games, or films, then do just that and counter your negativity. Doing something that you are good at and enthusiastic about will help you feel more optimistic and productive.
4. Do not let your past define you
Stop living in the past.
Master Oogway in Kung Fu Panda wisely said, "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present." He just means that you should not dwell on the past since you can do nothing more to change what happened or what you did. Worrying and regret will just burden you and keep you from seeing the beauty and possibilities of the life that you are living now.
5. Love and take care of your body
A sound body means a sound mind.
Your mental and physical health are connected. According to research, a healthy, fit, and active physical body would lead to a healthy, happy, and optimistic mind. Your mind can better process stress and negative emotions when it has plenty of sleep and peaceful meditation. Keep yourself healthy and moving by eating healthy food and doing daily exercise.
6. Forgive yourself and others
Let go of negative emotions.
You may have forgotten your past and the painful memories and regrets that come along with it but you have both taken the time and effort to forgive. You cannot expect to be at peace with yourself and the world when you harbor hatred towards others. As they say, revenge is a double-edged sword that you can easily fall into and impale yourself. And you cannot expect to forgive others if you do not first forgive yourself for your mistakes and shortcomings - remember that you and everyone else are flawed human beings.
7. Take time to explore nature
Have an adventure.
You may find your self-loathing increasing along with your feeling of worthlessness because you have been cooped up with your computer in your darkroom for long. It is time to remind yourself that there is a big, wide world out there just waiting for you to come out, explore and revel in its beauty. Unstick yourself from technology and the internet for a day or two to enjoy a stress-free vacation like camping and hiking. Step outside, feel the warmth of the sun and smell the roses - the world is full of life and it is happy that you are alive.
8. Value your mental and emotional health
Taking some alone time is good for you.
Other people may convince you that spending some time for yourself when you are sad and depressed is a dangerous thing to do. In some instances, they are right - you might need a night of partying and the boisterous and energetic company of your friends to forget your troubles and woes. However, in some cases, going for a quiet walk to think, reflect or meditate could also be infinitely more helpful. Listen to your mind and body, what does it need for you to achieve mental and emotional stability?
Learning To Love Yourself Books
If the ways mentioned above has left you wanting more information about self-love, then you have come to the right place. Here is a list of self-help books that can help you more in your journey to love yourself.
1. "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brene Brown
"The Gifts of Imperfection" teaches the acceptance of being imperfect.
Dr. Brown's book aims to serve as a guide for people to live a life that is accepting of one's imperfections. Through the many stories that she shares in the book, she wants her readers to develop their self-esteem and personal development. She wants them to claim and believe that they are worthy.
2. "You are a Badass" by Jen Sincero
"You are a Badass" tells you to believe that you can have an awesome life.
Jen Sincero believes that lack of success and unhappiness in life can be changed if only you change your mindset about life. Her book has 27 chapters of inspirational stories, advice, and exercises that could help you change your life.
3. "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay
"You Can Heal Your Life" shares how you can help yourself heal.
The author, Louise Hay, was a cancer survivor and the insights she shares in this book about self-healing are based on her own struggles and experiences. According to her, our life becomes what we want it to be. Every thought and action should be positive because they shape our future.
4. "The Self-Love Experiment" by Shannon Kaiser
"The Self-Love Experiment" defines success as equal to self-love.
Kaiser advocates in her book that gaining true success in life roots from self-love and acceptance. She writes about how people should not sacrifice too much of themselves. Instead, everyone should learn to value themselves and find their purpose in life.
5. "Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It" by Kamal Ravikant
"Love Yourself" like it is your last day on earth.
Ravikant's book is based on a talk that he gave to an audience in December of 2011 where they exclaimed how his speech changed their lives. It is a collection of his thoughts on how people can learn to love life. The book teaches to love life viciously and passionately as if one were living his last day on earth.
Learning To Love Yourself Quotes
Here are some important quotes that you can memorize or re-read every time that you are feeling bad about yourself. Or every moment that you feel sad, defeated, and depressed, let these words of wisdom empower you to stand strong once more.
Love yourself for who you are, and trust me, if you are happy from within, you are the most beautiful person, and your smile is your best asset. - Ileana D'Cruz
Self-love is beautiful.
Indian actress, Ileana D'Cruz reminds us that there is beauty in self-love. That once you accept yourself as who you are, you are at most beautiful. This beauty also grows from attaining inner peace and happiness.
Love who you are, embrace who you are. Love yourself. When you love yourself, people can kind of pick up on that: they can see confidence, they can see self-esteem, and naturally, people gravitate towards you. - Lilly Singh
Self-love draws people to you.
Indo-Canadian YouTuber, Lilly Singh, gives a statement on how self-love can have a profound effect on the people around you. Being happy and positive can make people feel the same way. You can become a magnet of positive influence in their lives.
I want to tell everybody to celebrate every day, to savor the day and be good to yourself, love yourself, and then you can be good to others and be of service to others. - Charlotte Rae
Self-love spreads to others as well.
American actress, Charlotte Rae explains how you cannot give what you do not have. She describes that by having self-love, you can spread love to other people. You love grows exponentially and blooms as kind words and deeds.
Love yourself first and others will do the same.
Living life in a competitive and accomplishment-driven world is definitely a struggle. People are made to believe that life is a race, a competition, where your life only counts if you have won that shiny medal or earned that golden trophy at the end. Society today leads you to believe that success is tied to material and financial success, and achieving anything less makes you a loser or a failure.
Living life in such a world can really make you hate yourself for not fitting in and have you believe that what you did is not enough. Despite all of this, you have to remember that it is your life to live and you are the driver. Believe that you are a beautiful person and you do not have to abide by what society dictates or where the majority of the crowd is heading. Learn to love yourself and others will start doing the same.