70 Funny And Witty Love Puns On Love, Marriage And Dating

Love is hard to find and even harder to maintain. It comes with lots of happy moments and good times but underneath all that, there is tons of efforts from both sides. It takes both parties to keep the relationship alive and spice things up. Humor can go a long way when it comes to making your significant other laugh. So if you’re someone who has a cool sense of humor and loves a good pun, you’re in for a great ride! This is going to be very punny to say the least. Enjoy these amazingly witty puns and pick-up lines to try on your significant other!

If you are sitting silently with your partner, make them laugh with these cute punny questions. The adorable answers will make them cringe and thank god that they have your humor to save the day.

1.    Why are volcanos so nice?
A: They lava you. 

2.    What did one slice of bread say to the other at their wedding?
A: Let’s grow mold together.

3.    Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day? 
A: Yes, it is February 14th

4.    Why should you never break up with a goalie?
A: Because he is a keeper!

5.    What did the bowl of soup write on their Valentine?
A: I love you pho real.

6.    What do you say when you find the perfect font?
A: You’re just my type!

7.    What did the lipstick say after he let down his friend?
A: I’ll make it up to you.

8.    What did one boat say to the other boat? 
A: Are you interested in a little row-mance?

9.    Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive.
Olive, who?
A: Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it!

10. I love you with all my butt. 
I would say my heart, but it is just not as big. (wink wink where my curvy booties at?!)

11.    You are like my asthma.
You just take my breath away.

12.    My name is Microsoft.
Can I crash at your place tonight?

13.    Being in love is a lot like central heating in your home. 
You turn it on just before your guests come over and pretend that your house is always like this.

14.    You are in my heart, my mind, and in my entire body. 
In fact, my doctor says that you must be a parasite!

15.    Let’s commit the perfect crime together.
I’ll steal your heart and you can steal mine.

16.    What did the koala say to his girlfriend?
A: I love you-calpytus.

17.    Why do painters always fall for their models? 
A: Because they love them with all of their art.

18.    What did the grilled cheese say to the frying pan?
A: You make me melt.

19.    You are like my dentures. 
I cannot smile without you.

20.    What did one leaf say to the other leaf?
A: I’ve fallen for you.

21.    What is a dairy product like as a partner?
A: They’re your butter half.

22.    What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor? 
A: Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.

23.    What did one sushi roll say to the other sushi roll?
A: I’m soy into you.

24.    What did the soup write on his valentine?
A: You make miso happy.

25.    You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.

26.    Hey did it hurt?
When you fell down from heaven?

27.    You must be so tired!
Because you’ve been running in my mind all night!

28.    How do you like your eggs?
Boiled, scrambled of fertilized?

29.    You are like dandruff because I just cannot get you out of my head no matter how hard I try.

30.    The brain is the most impressive organ in our whole body. From the day you are born, it works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, right up until you fall in love

31.    I think you might be suffering from a lack of vitamin me.

32.    I always like to let my wife know who the boss is in this house. 
And I do that by holding a mirror up to her face.

33.    Can I borrow a kiss from you? I promise you that I will give it back.

34.    Never laugh at your spouse’s choice… You’re one of them.

35.    What did the astronaut’s fiancé say when he proposed to her in open outer space? She said, “I can’t breathe!”

36.    I don’t know your name yet, but it must be Wi-Fi because I am feeling such a strong connection here.

37.    There were two antennas who met on a roof and they fell in love and decided to get married. The ceremony was nothing fancy, but you could tell that they had a very strong connection.

38.    Are you familiar with that tingly feeling that you get in your body when you start to develop feelings for someone? 
That feeling is actually all of your common sense leaving your body.

39.    One day, a husband told his wife that her rear end was getting so big that it was as big as their grill. Later that night, he tried to get intimate with her in bed only for the wife to reply, “do you really think that I am going to fire up this grill for just one little weenie?”

If you know that you have messed up, making your partner laugh while you apologize is the best way to dodge the bullet and make amends. For instance, if you had a fight, text them these and they will adore you think that you’re too cute to stay angry at. You can throw these at them randomly too! After all, you shouldn’t miss a single chance of showing them how much you adore them and being silly at the same time is just an added benefit.

40.    Aloe you vera much.

41.    I'm nuts about you

42.    You bake me crazy.

43.    Owl always love you.

44.    Olive you.

45.    I pitcher us together forever.

46.    I think you’re incredi-bowl.

47.    You auto-complete me.

If you noticed that you partner has had a rough day, sweep in with you pun cape and save the day by making them laugh! These funny puns are bound to get their lips to curl upwards and have a break from all the stressful stuff on their mind.

48.    I love you berry much.

49.    I whale always love you.

50.    You are the coffee to my espresso and I love you a latte.

51.    I have bean thinking about you.

52.    The cat’s out of the bag – I love you purry much.

53.    You’re turtle-ly awesome.

54.    Life without you would be un-bear-able.

55.    Bee mine.

56.    You octopi my thoughts.

57.    You met all of my koala-fications

58.    You're my purr-son.

59.    We are mint to be.

60.    We make a great pear

61.    I love you from my head tomatoes.

62.    Sorry if this is extra cheesy, but you have a pizza my heart.

63.    I’m o-fish-ally in love with you.    

64.    Let’s spend some koala-ty time together.

65.    There might be other fish in the sea, but you’re my sole mate

66.    I love you deerly.

67.    I love you and I ain’t lion.

68.    You must be copper and terillium because you are Cu-Te

69.    If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.

70.    You're one in a melon.
 

Life can be bland and boring at times and often needs to be refreshed with love, compassion and of course, a good laugh! You can win over your lover again with these funny conversations. This little mix and match will almost always make you laugh whole-heartedly and maybe spice things up! Enjoy the best time of your life with your lover and make each moment memorable with these witty comebacks. It’s never too old to flirt with your lover and show that they still sweep you off your feet! So go the extra mile and make them feel loved with little gestures of gratitude and awe! You’ll be thanking us berry soon…