A breakup is never easy. It’s not something that we look forward to or even expect. We don’t go entering a relationship thinking that it will eventually end. Of course not! We typically have “forever” in mind when we fall in love.
However, the harsh reality is that we do not live in a fairytale. And when you’re the one being dumped, it feels like the end of the world in so many ways. Your emotions and thoughts are off the rails. You’re sad, depressed, angry, hopeless, confused, suddenly hopeful of getting back together, then back down to losing hope once more – AKA a rollercoaster ride of feelings.
The giddy feeling of receiving gifts, the butterflies in your stomach at the idea of being in love and the heartwarming effect of a sweet relationship seem like a thing that would last forever – or so we had hoped. You feel lost and have no idea if you will be able to get back on your feet again.
The good news is that you can be happy again after a breakup, no matter how heartbreaking it was. The following are some tips that could help you smile again at a time when it’s all doom and gloom.
How long does it take to be Happy again after a Breakup
Before all else, let’s take a look at the timeframe of moving on after a breakup. For others, it happens within a few months, for others maybe a year or more. Becoming happy again after a breakup ultimately depends on the person, how they are handling the post-breakup process and the gravity of the breakup.
Do take note that there are stages to pass through after a breakup that leads to ultimately moving on and becoming happy again. There’s no magic potion or shortcut to get there.
If you’ve recently broken up with someone whom you’ve been with for years, then it will be harder to move on, and it will take more time. There are too many memories to forget or let go. You will be reminded of that person at so many random moments that it would seem impossible to forget at first. However, facing these memories is all part of the process.
One cannot speed up the recovery process. It will happen at its own time, at its own pace; however, the whole experience will make you wiser and stronger.
How to be happy again after a breakup
1. Allow yourself to cry and let go
Perhaps the easiest way to unload the burden is to let yourself cry. Keeping those tears in will only make the feelings pile up and could eventually overwhelm you. Whether its sniffles or a full-blown breakdown, you owe it to yourself to feel so you can overcome.
Imagine the waves of the ocean sweeping away the debris on the shore. That’s what your tears do. They wash away the pain.
Listen to Adele, then Beyoncè and some John Legend, then go back to Adele. Give yourself a day or two of locking yourself in your room to cry. This is the “ugly” part of a breakup which is essential in moving on and becoming happy. “The rainbow comes after the rain,” right?
2. Distance yourself
Next would be to cut all sources of communication and contact with your ex. Unfollow and block if needed. Thanks to technology, we are so updated with everyone’s lives and seeing your ex having fun while you’re feeling miserable will not help with the cause.
Please resist the urge to text or call him. Delete past conversations, so you have nothing to go back to – no opportunity to pull the band-aid from a healing wound.
Distancing yourself will be extremely difficult at the start, especially since you have been used to his constant presence for so long. But it must be done if you truly want to move on and be happy.
3. Distract yourself
Now that he’s gone, what would you busy yourself with? How about going back to the things you were doing before he came into the picture? Whether that’s photography, painting, yoga, pottery, and everything in between.
When you distract yourself, you lessen the chances of reminiscing. How about pampering yourself with a spa session or, better yet, indulge in shopping therapy!
Getting enough rest and exercise are also great distractions that yield wonders for the body, soul, and mind. You become more alert and focused, with a clear mind, and you become fit and healthy in the process. Now, who wouldn’t want that?
4. Forgive and try to forget
Somewhere in between, you will need to forgive your ex. He might have cheated or ghosted you, or he might have abused you. To fully and truly be happy once again after a breakup, forgiveness is crucial.
No matter how much of a douchebag your ex was, wish him the best. Don’t go taking a voodoo doll and poking needles on it. Pray for him to be happy and successful. Being selfless in this case will only bring positive things and good karma to your life. Plus, forgiveness allows you to heal faster.
Soon enough, you will be waking up and smiling at the sun shining down on your covers.
5. Ask for help
One thing is for sure; it is challenging to handle a breakup alone. It is your best friend’s job to console you, listen, take your side, and defend you during a breakup. Give them this opportunity to be there for you.
However, you don’t have to feel obliged to surround yourself with your friends right after a breakup or at any moment in between. If you feel extra lonely or down, those are the times when a friend would be a ray of sunshine to help you smile.
How to move on genuinely after a breakup
6. Accept reality
The first step to moving on after getting your heart broken is to accept the end of a relationship. The sooner you make peace with yourself that the person that once was your world has become a stranger, the faster you will heal.
Don’t hold on to the past and don’t hope on getting back together. You broke up for a reason and trying to work things out once more will only end up on the same scenario. It’s time to swallow the bitter medicine knowing that it will be good for you.
Denying that you are now single will only prolong the healing process, and it will keep you unfit for new opportunities that come your way, say a new relationship perhaps?
7. Take one day at a time
Once you’ve taken some time to accept the reality that you and your ex are no longer together, take that resolution and bring it with you day after day. When you wake up in the morning, try repeating your own version of, “Today is a new day, I am single, and I will make the best out of it.”
Sometimes talking and convincing ourselves to keep moving forward helps us from looking and going back.
8. Try new things
Have you written down a bucket list? Or told yourself, “I’ll add that to my list of things I want to try.” Now is the perfect time to check those items off the list!
Whether its bungee jumping, learning how to skate, getting an aesthetic treatment done, trying a new craft, learning a new recipe, or starting a scrapbook, go and try them out. Not only are they a great distraction from the pain of the breakup, but you come out of that experience a more knowledgeable person.
9. Enjoy being single
This concept of being alone may be new to those who have gotten used to being in a relationship, but it isn’t a bad thing, unlike what others say. Do you enjoy hanging out with your guy friends but your ex used to see that as an issue before? Well, now you can.
You can travel alone for some soul-searching, make decisions without asking for someone else’s opinion or even consent, and do things your partner prohibited you from doing before.
Enjoy being single, and soon enough, you will find yourself smiling, happy, and having moved on.
10. Stick to positivity
The end of something only means a new beginning for something even more amazing. By looking at the breakup in this light, you stay positive and excited for the future. You become motivated to get back up on the saddle and live life to the fullest.
Quotes on being happy after a breakup
If you need a mantra for the day, you can memorize the following quotes so you can go back to them when you’re feeling extra low.
“Get up, dress up, show up, and never give up.” - Unknown
Simple, straight to the point, and the mantra of a diva.
“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” - Marilyn Monroe
Marilyn Monroe had it right. How can better things come when other things are taking up their space in your life?
"No relationship is ever a waste of your time. If it didn't bring you what you want, it taught you what you don't want." – Unknown
This quote is an excellent reminder of staying positive amidst the pain of a heartbreak.
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” – Haruki Murakami
Remember the part when you’re allowed to cry and feel the pain? Remember to not dwell in it because wallowing in those emotions and staying hurt is your choice.
"It's not you, it's me. I'm too good for you." – Unknown
This quote is for those days when you just need to harness your inner goddess.
If there is one thing that we can all take from a breakup, it’s the lessons. The pain, the helplessness and hopelessness, and the anxiety make us stronger and wiser. Our brains memorize the pain, and it will go into defense mode immediately when it senses danger moving forward.
There are so many more things in store for you after a breakup, better things and wonderful experiences.