12 Tips On How To Maintain A Long Term Relationship

Relationships are built on the foundation of love, trust, honesty, and loyalty. These foundation stones determine how long a relationship is going to last. There is no specific timeline for a relationship that can make it define as a long term relationship. However, if a relationship lasts longer than 5 or more, it can be considered as a long term relationship. There are 1825 days in five years and almost every day brings a new challenge and how your significant other help you tackle those challenges of your relationship makes you understand if the other person is truly capable of having a long term commitment with you or not. A long term relationship is the one that transforms into a lifetime commitment and over time you get so used to the presence of your partner that it becomes impossible to imagine a life without them.

A long term relationship helps you understand what kind of a person your partner actually is because at first nobody appears with all the shades of their personality but as time passes all those veils and covers start drifting and you get to see the real shades of a person’s personality. When this happens you and your partner get to decide if you both can live with the reality that has just stricken your relationship for a lifetime or not.

Normally every other person has a different definition of period defining long term relationships. In my opinion, a long term relationship is one which lasts for five whole years or more than that. A long term relationship basically enables you to see the actual character and personality of your partner. It can even happen within a year or two but the bond that is created after spending 5 or more years together has no comparison with the shorter period’s bond.

In my opinion, every minute the couple spends together the love multiplies and the bond strengthens, so the longer the period the stronger the bond. But in some cases it may not be so, some couples completely understand each other from the very beginning of the relationship, a level that is basically achieved after spending years together. So the definition of long term relationships and its meaning varies from couple to couple.

Being in a long term relationship is not as easy as it seems to be. A person has to go through several stages to achieve a long term relationship. It obviously begins when a couple decides to spend their lives with each other out of love.

The first phase is full of love, affection, and care for each other which is basically termed as the honeymoon phase. It is the easiest and the most affectionate.

Then comes the phase when you get to know about all those nasty habits and negative aspects of each other’s personality that were previously concealed. This is the phase when you need to be the most understanding and compromising. A person must accept their significant other’s flaws the way they accepted their positive aspects because it is a complete package and doesn’t work if you take all good parts and are unwilling to accept the negative ones.

In between comes the phase where you might feel like you’ve lost your identity and confidence. With the passage of time, you might feel unheard, unloved and find yourself hating the presence of your significant other, this is the most difficult phase. If a couple passes through this phase, they might not be separated ever. This phase is a little difficult because it will make you feel like you are not in love with the love of your life anymore. Then you will have to find that little sparkle left for your beloved hidden in your heart and fall in love with them all over again.

Then comes the phase where couples fight a lot over petty issues. Stages with no sex at all or increased levels of intimacy may also come along the way. These phases or stages vary from relationship to relationship, some might occur in your case some might not. 

Once you have emotionally detached yourself, you start thinking about new possibilities. Getting involved with a new person comes naturally. In relationships, a bed of roses isn't promised. Getting deceived from the new partner or not finding him good enough as compared to your previous partner makes you re-think about the dying relationship with your ex-partner. Revert phase is when you want to get back with your partner with a new resolution.

Here is a set of 12 advice that might be helpful for you if you are planning to have a long term relationship:

1.    Support each other no matter what the situation is. Have each other’s backs in difficult circumstances and reassure your partner from time to time that you are together in this and won’t leave their side no matter what.
  
2.    Accept them as they are; don’t try to change their personality in accordance with your mood. Let them be themselves.

3.    Never stop putting efforts into your relationship no matter how old it gets. If you keep planting seeds, flowers keep blooming in your garden.

4.    Always trust each other unconditionally. By mistrusting your significant other you might humiliate them to a level that they start hating you and they consider their relationship with you a mistake.

5.    Give enough space to each other; everybody loves to have some personal space. Give your partner some personal time to do their thing and meanwhile, you do yours.

6.    Forgive and forget. Everybody makes mistakes; at times you will make some and at times they will make some, make sure you forgive and forget their mistakes as well. Forgiving and then taunting by remembering past mistakes will ruin the peace of your relationship.

7.    Communicate more. Be open. Communication is the key to a lasting relationship if you both will pour your hearts out in front of each other and tell each other what bothers you and what comforts you, your relationship will become the safest haven for both of you.

8.    Learn to listen. In a relationship, listening to each other’s viewpoints is extremely important. A person must always listen to the concerns of their significant other calmly. 

9.    Pay attention to the details. While communicating pay attention to their tone, body language, and voice, it will help you understand if the person is sad, happy, frustrated, stressed or glad. Such understanding will lead to a stronger bond and longer-lasting relationship.

10.    Be appreciative. Appreciation is what we all expect in return for the little things that we do for others. Always be appreciative of all the small acts of kindness and love that your partner does to make you happy.

11.    Don’t overthink a small fight or argument you had with them. It will only keep on deepening your sorrow and you will end up creating scenarios in your head that didn’t even happen.

12.    Be thankful. Thank them for all the things that they do for you on a daily basis. Thanking will motivate the other person to put more effort into the relationship.

Here is a list of some quotes relating to long term relationships:

•    Long-term relationships will change you — either for better or for worse.  Jianny Adamo

•    When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. HARRY from When Harry met Sally

•    The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. Morrie Schwartz

•    If you keep giving up on people so quickly, you’re gonna miss out on something great. Robin from How I met your mother.

•    A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Mignon McLaughlin

•    To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship. Domenico Cieri Estrada

•    A healthy marriage acts as the vessel of wellbeing and stability for both partners as well as the children. Abhijit Naskar

If ever life gives you a chance to get indulged in a long term relationship you must always go for it and see where the flow takes you and learn from every single experience you had in this journey.

Most long term relationships turn into successful marriages but if that isn’t happening in your case and you might think that your significant other is not the right one for you. Overthinking not only creates a void, but it also
deepens it. This is the right time for you to take opinion from your close friends and family, people who know you and your significant other well so they might guide you if it’s you overthinking or your sixth sense is alarming you rightly. You can also choose to go to a counselor for this purpose. Take advice and opinions but always make the final choice yourself according to what your heart and mind say.