Why Am I Sexually Frustrated Often? What Should I Do?

Not getting the climax? How to cure and deal with a sexually frustrated you.

By Adina Mazilu
Why Am I Sexually Frustrated Often? What Should I Do?

Being sexually frustrated does not only mean that something is definitely wrong with you and that you are spiraling down into a misery existence. In fact, according to experts, sexual frustration is a very modern and common problem that’s rooted in your sexual behavior. It is often caused by a lack of intimate connections or very bad such connections. However, diving even deeper into the issue, its causes are many, from physical to emotional and mental trouble caused by your relationship or lack thereof. In this article, we will help you discover why you might be sexually frustrated and what you should do to solve this pressing issue that, in time, can definitely become worse and seriously affect your quality of life and relationships with other people.

What Is Sexually Frustrated?

Before telling you what might cause this sexual frustration, it’s important to know right from the get-go what does this problem actually means. Not having sex for a long time or having bad sex can lead to this issue. So, if your last intimate connection was about two centuries ago or if your current relationship doesn’t satisfy you at all, you might be slowly becoming frustrated with yourself. In a relationship, having bad sex means a lack of interest in something that should be very enjoyable. In time, you might end up not wanting to have sex any more and therefore not releasing all that pressure. What comes next? Sexual frustration.

Another important matter to take into account when it comes to sexual frustration is some women’s unwillingness to explore their own bodies. Masturbation should be a mandatory activity if you want to have a great time with your partner later in bed. How is he supposed to satisfy you when you have no idea what satisfies you? Don’t do that and you will end up sexually frustrated because you cannot feel anything. Here are some reasons why you might be sexually frustrated already.

5 Reasons Why I Would Be Sexually Frustrated

1. You are always stressed out and annoyed

One of the most common causes of sexual frustration is stress. So, if you are always stressed out because of various reasons (like family or job), you will most likely end up sexually frustrated because you won’t be able to enjoy any kind of sexual activity. Moreover, you might not even want to engage in any kind of sexual activity with your partner. In turn, this comes with an overwhelming feeling of annoyance over every little thing and a lot of stress. Jokes that used to be funny are suddenly annoying, people that you used to love hanging out with are now annoying, and so on and so forth.

Also, you might find yourself daydreaming and being easily distracted at times, and it’s all because of the same reasons. Sexual frustration affects your body and makes it react differently to various situations. So, next time someone tells you that you have changed, it might be because of this.

2. You have unfulfilled sexual fantasies

Unfulfilled sexual fantasies are a common occurrence, even in people who are not sexually frustrated. However, in normal people’s cases, it’s because their fantasies are too kinky to be practiced. In your case, that fantasy might simply be having sex. If you often fantasize about it but you are not having any, it means that something is wrong in your relationship. Maybe fantasy sex is not the same as real-world sex and you end up not wanting it. Maybe your partner has no clue whatsoever about what you like and you end up just sitting there not feeling anything. The problem here is mostly related to your past or present sexual connections that have not satisfied you. This is why you fantasize about that perfect intercourse but end up not wanting it in real life for fear that it might again be bad. This is a perfect recipe for sexual frustration and a very common cause for it.

3. You have trouble sleeping

Sleepless nights are both a reason and a result of sexual frustration. Having trouble sleeping can cause this problem because you no longer have the energy to have sex. However, it can also become a result of not having enough sex because your body has too much energy and you end up twisting and turning in bed just wanting to get some sleep. This can affect your job performance, relationship with your friends and family and, finally, your mental health overall.

When in bed, you might constantly feel like you have unfinished business or that something is preventing you from sleeping. Yes, that something is a lack of sexual activity that, normally, should tire you out and make you sleep like a baby. In your case, that’s not possible and, unfortunately, you end up sexually frustrated.

4. You don’t have quality-sex

This is probably the number one reason why so many people end up sexually frustrated. Regardless if it’s because of your partner’s lack of skills or knowledge or because of you, talking about it always solves the issue. Think hard and try to figure out why you are always unsatisfied after sex. It is because he doesn’t know what to do to bring you to your climax? In this case, don’t be afraid to have a serious conversation with him and explain how you feel. He cannot read your thoughts especially when you are always pretending that you like it. Discuss it and make the best decision for both of you. Not wanting to talk will only increase your frustration and, in time, you might end up in a broken relationship.

If your partner doesn’t have any fault in this, does everything right, and you are still unsatisfied, maybe the problem is in your head. Try to get some help or figure out why it doesn’t work for you. One of the reasons for this might be that you are lacking self-confidence, which brings us to the next point.

5. You have self-confidence issues

Not having enough self-confidence brings along a series of real problems and one of them is sexual frustration. If you don’t feel good in your own body you won’t be able to enjoy sex no matter how good your partner is. Your mind will always have those issues in the background and the result will be a frustrating and uncomfortable sexual connection. Always thinking about those extra pounds will make you sure that you are not good enough or unable to satisfy your partner. In reality, things are not like that at all. Your partner loves you as you are if he wants to have sex with you and you should stop thinking too much. Otherwise, sexual frustration and a broken relationship might soon follow and you don’t want that.

What To Do And How To Deal With Sexual Frustration

There are definitely some things that you can do once you’ve realized that you might be sexually frustrated. The first one? Talk openly with your partner and find solutions together. This might solve the issue instantly because you will have the monkey off your back immediately.

Secondly, you might want to start exercising regularly because this will both help with your physique and liberate your mind. Doing this will increase your self-confidence level and will stop you from thinking too much next time you’re in bed. Also, exploring your own body regularly and letting your dirty thoughts run wild can be a great way of improving your sexual appetite and getting rid of sexual frustration. Leave all that shame behind because it’s not good at all and try to be at peace with your sexual side. In time, your libido will increase and you will see a great improvement in your relationship.

Related Article: Sexually Frustrated? 20 Ways That’ll Help Relieve Your Sticky Situation
Sexually Frustrated? 20 Ways That’ll Help Relieve Your Sticky Situation

Are you sexually frustrated? Are you constantly thinking about sex? Here are some 20 ways that will help you relieve your sticky situation.


All in all, being sexually frustrated has become more and more common nowadays, and you shouldn’t feel bad if you’re going through it. The key here is to recognize the symptoms and do everything you can do solve the issue, not dive deeper into it. There are lots of things that you can do, from being open with your partner to doing exercise or consulting a sexual therapist. Do not wait too long because your relationship might worsen and you will feel like you are even more unwanted. All issues have a solution, and sexual frustration has some too.


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