Cheating and Technology
As the world evolves to mainly surround the virtual world, our definitions of a lot of things change. Back in the days, it's black and white what is cheating or not. Even a gentle tap on a lady's shoulder can be considered cheating a few hundred years ago. Good that we are evolving and now you can freely hug your female friends as greetings and won't get served a divorce paper.
However, as our definitions broaden up, it becomes vague, what is cheating? Is texting another girl late at night cheating? Is having a Netflix night with a female colleague cheating?
Most importantly, is watching porn cheating? Now that's the 1-million dollar question that divides up the internet. People can't agree on whether porn is cheating for various different reasons. Porn has caused more breakups that you'd believe. Some couples fight fiercely every day over the porn habits of their partner.
Some say porn is a healthy channel to let out your horny side while others say you must stay faithful and get rid of the porn. Which side are you on? Are you wondering what arguments the other side has? Read on and find out!
Porn is Not Cheating
1. There's no literal physical attachment
Okay, despite the fact that your partner is literally jerking off to the porn stars, there's no actual physical connection between them. A guy can always dream, right? Your partner is fantasizing about penetrating the juicy booty of those silicon-filled asses, not that he wishes it to happen upon him in real life. That's the belief many holds and that's why they don't see any harm in porn, less alone consider it cheating.
Upon the internet, you can do anything, yet it doesn't reflect real life. Most guys go online to jerk off of unrealistic "girls next door" that they don't even want to look at in reality. It's a little escape room for them. Everyone has their own celebrity crush. Like how every girl dreams about Chris Hemsworth's body, but in the end, you'd still choose your body. A little dream doesn't hurt anyone in real life because no one acts on it in real life.
2. There's no interaction
Besides the live chatroom porn thing, which is highly debatable, you don't interact with anyone in the porn world. It's you playing the video and getting off of it. You don't get to interact with anyone to fulfill your fantasy. Cheating is mutual in a sense that there's another person on the other end reciprocating it. Even without porn, your guy jerking off to a wall with his own fantasy isn't cheating because there's no one else on the other end reciprocating.
If a one-man fantasy is cheating, then you thinking how much you want to poison your boss in your daydream is also attempted murder. Porn isn't cheating because it's nothing more than a daydream pretty much. No one is receiving the dream or interacting with it. Can't cheat with just your right hand.
3. It is a physical need rather than a mental one
The desire of having sex is a really basic human need for most. Even if you don't have a partner, occasionally you feel the lust and would want to touch yourself. That's a difficult desire to steer clear from. Having sex is essentially like talking to a friend, you don't need to do it every day and you can refrain from doing it, but it won't be a good feeling if you can't do it for a long time.
Why blame your partner for having a need just like anybody else? It's not his fault and he shouldn't be held responsible. His way to deal with it is porn. Would you rather him not jerk off and go crazy, watch porn and relax, or find another real person to have sex with? Taking porn away from him is really like taking away his basic need.
Porn is Cheating
1. You have the desire and thoughts to have sex with someone else
One big argument that porn is cheating is that you actually have thought of the idea of banning someone else. What makes you so sure you won't bring that intention into your real life? What if one day you come across someone, dressed exactly like in your fantasy and she happens to be interested in you, will you really be able to refrain yourself from going for it?
That's the nightmare of many that one day their partner's fantasy will come true and they will go for it. Watching porn is like preparing them to cheat. If your partner really does love you and you only, why can he be jerking off to another girl and still feel good about it? That's the one thing that sucks about watching porn, you know others can fulfill his desires too. Sex should be an intimate thing between you two, which obviously is not the case if he starts jerking off to every girl on the internet.
2. There's the interaction
Live webcams and chat rooms are part of the premium services on most porn sites, something that bothers most. As said before, people don't consider porn cheating because there's no interaction. But with webcams, there's an interaction, only one step away from having an actual physical connection.
You know webcam girls are getting paid and it's their jobs, your partner is not going to meet them in real life, or so you hope, but him interacting with another girl to climax is no different than cheating because he is with a real person and talking to her. That's taking it too far and many consider porn cheating because of it.
3. Love is exclusive
Is it really love if you want to have sex with others? Love should be exclusive. If you can't have sex with your partner for whatever reason, your partner should be excitedly waiting the next time you meet, and not go online to jerk off to another chick. Even if sex is a human need, he can well jerk off to a wall thinking about you. He only needs his imagination which is quite the same as porn.
If fantasizing about you doesn't work, that shows that he can have his love for not only you, and that's cheating. Instead of picturing you in his fantasy, he pictures someone else. He dreams about having sex with someone else. If he can picture such an intimate act with others, does he really love you? And in turn, is your love really exclusive? If it's no longer exclusive, he basically is cheating on you anyway because he has lost interest in you and more interested in the porn stars on the internet.
What if We Watch Porn Together?
Whether you believe porn is cheating or not, watching porn together can be healthy. For one, you can understand why your partner wants it and second, you may change your mind about it once you put yourself in his shoes.
Watching porn together doesn't hurt anyone. Play something you're comfortable with and try to have sex while watching it. You may feel that it spices things up a lot or you feel start to see why it helps your partner sexually when he can't see you.
At the end if you're still uncomfortable about it, bring it up to your partner and tell him. At least you've paid the respect by trying and it still doesn't float your boat. You two can come up with a mutual agreement that you're comfortable with.
If you find the joy in porn and may become a lover yourself if you aren't already, that could well become your thing with your partner, to watch porn together!
Have a clearer stance on whether porn is cheating or not? Or still, debating, struggling if you should try porn out together with your partner? Whatever your stance is, you should always communicate with your partner to draw a clear boundary and set things right. Don't bottle up your feelings and hate him for watching porn, bring it up and let both sides lay their argument.
Sex should be the most intimate thing between the two. How porn comes into play varies depending on the dynamics between couples. There's no right or wrong answer, only poor communications. The position porn plays in your relationship is how you place it. Think it through and set a rule with your partner so no one is feeling cheated on as well as to maintain a good, healthy relationship with happy sex life.