Problems with getting or maintaining an erection have a direct impact on not only the patient’s sex life but his partner as well. It may even feel like the end of one’s sex life, as the main tool used for sexual penetration isn’t able to get hard. But, the common sex life you’ve known up to this point isn’t the only way to achieve sexual pleasure.
Even with medical conditions like erectile dysfunction, a couple can still indulge in fulfilling sex! After all, it’s recommended for all ED men to regularly take part in sexual activity as it increases the chances for symptoms to disperse gradually.
It's a Real Situation that Some Men Have a Limp Dick
Erectile dysfunction is much more common than you may think. Almost all men experience it at some stage in their lives, with the most cases showing up in older ages. ED doesn’t only include people who simply cannot get hard, but also individuals who face difficulty in getting or maintaining an erection. It can sometimes even occur along with premature ejaculation, which is a problem where men ejaculate before they want to. Understandably, ED brings a whole range of problems in the bedroom.
How to Assure Your Partner on His "Performance"
A man can feel incredibly guilty or deficient when they can’t seem to do something that comes effortlessly to all healthy men. The feeling of not being able to satisfy your partner isn’t easy to bear. Tremendous support and reassurance are needed from one’s partner to get through it.
The most effective tool you can use to comfort him in such a scenario is empathy. If he can’t get it up, you need to respond with patience, affection, and understanding. Yes, it’s frustrating for you, but he’s probably just as frustrated and worried about the situation as you are. He’s fearing that his image in your mind is being ruined, you might resent him, or even leave him due to the sheer dissatisfaction.
To combat this, use your words to express your unconditional love and support for your man. Tell him it’s okay, you don’t care, and you just like being intimate with him physically. Tell him that regardless of what he’s thinking, you’re not upset with him at all, and you love him loads. Such positive messages will slowly diminish his insecurities and make him less concerned about this problem. Be kind, be empathetic, and relax with him to ease the situation.
6 Ways to Pleasure when Your Partner has a Limp Dick
With that said, it’s now time to get into the stuff that’ll spice things up, even with the ED problem at hand. In no way does this issue mean that your sex life is over, not even close. In this section of the article, we’ll bring you 6 ways to enjoy sexual pleasure without even a hard-on. Some of these might even be better than the vanilla intercourse you’re accustomed to!
But First, Redefine Sex and Your Attitude about It
Performance anxiety is a huge hindrance to good sex and can have drastic impacts on someone who already suffers erectile dysfunction. There’s already the pressure of not being able to get hard, and additional stress about failing to please your partner with new ways will only worsen the situation.
To counter this problem, it’s imperative to first reframe your personal perspective of sex. It’s not just limited to private parts penetrating, but also includes sensual touches, oral pleasure, sex toys, and mutual masturbation. Take your mind off of the ‘goals’ for your sexual activity, but focus more on the process and the pleasure it brings you. With that said, let’s jump into a whole sexual menu of options that don’t need an erect penis to work with!
1. Use strap-ons
Strap-ons exist, and they’re not just for lesbian couples. The ingenious harness design covers people of all sorts, and it’s a commonly used product among men with erectile dysfunction. Many designs include two holes; one for a person’s own dick, and the other for a store-bought dildo. If penetration is super important to you, get one of these for your man and include it in your routine! Who knows, a strap-on might just end up feeling better than the real thing.
2. Use your hands
Doesn’t matter if the dick isn’t entirely in your man’s control, luckily, their hands and fingers always are. You can use your hands to feel him up as well! They’re great tools for all sorts of sexual stimuli, such as fingering, stroking his soft cock, or jacking each other off. With this technique, orgasms will literally be all in your hands.
3. Get penis sleeves
Extenders and penis sleeves can also be great for people who’ve got trouble getting a sustainable erection. They’re unique tools that can be worn on the penis to make sexual penetration a possibility. While it’s clunky and rattling design isn’t always great for intense physical sensations, it can help with psychological stimulation if you both like the way it feels. Knowing that your man is moving in and out of you is sometimes enough to make up for a limp dick, and a penis sleeve achieves that!
4. Prioritize oral sex
Here’s one of the most powerful tools that any couple suffering from erectile dysfunction has at hand. Even if your man’s cock is soft, you can still perfectly give and receive oral stimulation from each other. An erection has absolutely no impact on how he eats you out, and how satisfying it is. Feel free to tell your man how you like it, and he’ll adapt to it – after all, he’s probably desperate to please you given his condition. Make sure to include lots of positive reassurance when he actually performs well orally, as it’ll immensely help him fight his ED insecurities.
It doesn’t just have to be one-sided either, you can orally pleasure him as well, even if he’s soft. Whether or not a dick is hard, there are still thousands of nerve endings in his penis area which will make any oral stimulation feel great. Just make sure to focus more on soft repetitions with your tongue and mouth, instead of stuff like deep throating. 69ing is also an awesome option, as a limp dick makes it even easier for you to give him head from any modified position!
5. Have fun with sex toys
While we generally associate sex toys with vaginas, but plenty of toys are in the market exclusively for men. Vibrating and non-vibrating cock rings are some great examples, which can be a huge help with getting and sustaining an erection for longer than usual. Other options like using Tenga Eggs during a handjob. Miraculously, the Hot Octopuss Pulse line helps your man orgasm even without ever getting hard!
These products are all designed for penises, so pair them up with your collection of vibrators and butt-plugs to have a genuinely fun time in the bedroom, even without an erection! There are bullet- and wand-style vibrators for cocks, which are amazing tools for enhancing sensations on other parts of the body as well. Ask him to run them on your nipples, neck, or tease him with it. It’s all a playground to explore if you go into it with an open mind.
6. Get naughty with your words
Incorporating foreplay and dirty talk into your lives could be life-changing, and this isn’t even just for people suffering from ED. We don’t just get aroused by physical stimuli, but mental and emotional triggers can also get us super turned on for our partners. You can communicate your fantasies, sext each other throughout the day, and read erotica sitting close together in the bed, with a sexy little night light on the side.
All of these ideas can be incredibly arousing if you both are into a slow-buildup, wait-for-it type of sexual experience. Slowly move your hands to riskier and riskier locations on your partner’s body to communicate your naughty intentions as you talk dirty into their ears, or as the erotica progresses. Dirty talk can enhance your sexual experiences by a lot if you pair them up with the techniques we’ve mentioned above!
It can be extremely stressful for both people in a couple when the male partner always has a limp dick, regardless of any amount of sexual stimulation. Almost all common sexual experiences are associated with an erection, which isn’t possible with a flaccid penis. But, it’s important to remember that while a man can’t get hard, it doesn’t always mean he isn’t aroused. Sexual pleasure can be shared between partners even with the limitation of erectile dysfunction. This article aims to help couples who are going through this problem, by introducing unique ideas to enjoy sex even without an erection. All the best!