9 Ways to Be a Good Girlfriend to Your Introvert Boyfriend

Human beings are social animals. We’ve all heard this phrase a thousand times. This statement is true for the most part but what it does not address is the varying preferences in the social behavior of people. Some rely on community-based activities to get the endorphins flowing. They feel energized and are filled with feelings of positivity. Contrary to this, certain other groups of people perceive social gatherings as energy-draining activities. Yet another category, lies in the middle of the spectrum and has both qualities. This is what differentiates introverts and extroverts.

In a romantic partnership, both individuals play an equal role in maintaining the wellbeing of their relationship. With the hectic routine of the modern world, you can sometimes neglect your duties to your significant other without even meaning to. Here’s why being a good girlfriend is important.

The process of building a strong relationship is a two-way street. Often girls rely on their partners to treat them well but do not put in the effort to make their boyfriends feel special. Treating each other with tenderness and compassion is the key to establishing a healthy romance. If you can’t treat him like a king, don’t expect him to treat you like a queen. In society, boys are specially made to feel ashamed for being emotional. After being told their whole life, to toughen up and “be a man”, small gestures that encourage and soothe his sensitive side can go a long way. 

Our society today is shaped around an extrovert’s point of view. Each social activity is in favor of an extroverted mindset and abilities. An introvert can quite frequently feel like their perspective and needs are being overlooked in a social context. Thus, after an exhausting day of dealing with colleagues, neighbors, and other people, your special someone requires rest. Here is when he needs a good support system. In a world biased toward extroverted capabilities, he will truly cherish having an understanding partner like you. Anais Nin once explained this with eloquence:

“Our culture made a virtue of living only as extroverts. We discouraged the inner journey, the quest for a center. So, we lost our center and have to find it again.”

An essential fact to keep in mind while dating an introverted guy is that in terms of people they prefer quality over quantity, always. This implies that they want to develop stronger and more long-lasting relationships. They wait a considerable period before opening up and letting other people in. Therefore, if you are dating an introverted person, it is probably not a whimsical decision on their part. They took their time deciding on you, choosing you over other girls. Because they believe you are the most suitable partner for them at the current time. It would be a shame not to honor this.

So, you have fallen in love with an introvert, and with the odds in your favor, they like you back! And you probably don’t want to mess things up because they matter to you. You want to understand what makes them feel comfortable. You desire to be the best possible partner you can. But you just don’t know how? Well, I’ve got you covered. Here is your guide to loving an introvert.

A lot of times it can be difficult to understand why someone is acting a certain way. This is because they behave in a way that is completely different from our habits. It can be confusing, and you can easily become offended when they reject a proposal of going to a party or don’t want to attend the concert with you. Such gatherings present introverts with overstimulation of the senses. The first and easiest step you can take to becoming a better girlfriend is to understand and acknowledge that as an introvert, your partner’s needs differ from your own.

The worst thing you can do to an introvert is to add to the already insurmountable pressure of being social. You may not even realize it but as an extrovert, it is easy to drain your partner. You must remain mindful of your words and statements. A common misconception is that introverts do not enjoy the company of others. This is a false statement. The truth about this myth is that they like spending quality time with people just in smaller doses. Crowds and other large groups of people will intimidate him. So, don’t push it when they decline an invitation to go out.

Many introverts complain that the biggest struggle they face in relationships is the lack of respect for their needs. Their partners often get upset when they ask to be alone, thinking that they do not enjoy their partner’s company. This can even lead to unnecessary arguments and conflicts in the relationship. It is important to remind yourself that when your boyfriend wants to be left alone, it has nothing to do with you or how much they love you. It is simply necessary for them to recharge their energy to get through the rest of the day. It can be healthy to have activities in the day that don’t involve your partner. A little bit of space will allow your bond to strengthen even more.

Grand romantic gestures can seem like just the thing that will win your partner over. Things like prom proposals in front of the entire school. Or any public declaration of love that you think is the epitome of romance may just be your boyfriend’s worst nightmare. Such surprises will trigger anxious thoughts and make them feel extremely uncomfortable. They would much rather appreciate a small affair between just the two of you or a few close friends. It would mean a lot to them and reduces the amount of effort you have to put in.

It can be easy to slip into a thought spiral of wishing that your partner was different. It’s normal to sometimes want things to be easier. But continuing to hope that they suddenly become the type of person who loves to go out every single day is foolish. If you cannot accept your partner for who they are and keep trying to change them, it will drive them away. They will start to become more and more distant as your incessant nagging for them to change who they are continues. Accept them and their needs even if they don’t always fit in seamlessly with your own.

When you want to spend time together and go on fun dates, remember to factor in the comfort of your significant other. For example, instead of going to a normal cinema, try one of those drive-in ones. They will cherish these small adjustments more than you could ever imagine. Having more nights in cuddling and watching a movie over a bowl of ice cream will not only benefit your introverted partner but is also a much more intimate experience than going to a club.

Each individual has a different way of showing that they care. Your language of love depends on your upbringing as well as your personality. Introverts usually have a much subtler approach to affection. They may not directly express their love which can make you question their feelings for you. Notice the small things that they do. Like making you your morning cup of coffee or remembering small details about you. Even though they express their love differently, introverts love deeply, and you will always feel cherished. 

An introvert despises being in the spotlight. With all eyes on them, they become overwhelmed. They hate the feeling of a large group of people watching them. Try your best when you are out with friends or whoever, to avoid making them the center of attention. When you are at parties or events together, make sure to not stray too far away from them. Because an introvert needs your support more than you need his in such situations.

Try not to make small talk with an introvert unless required. They are much more inclined to heartfelt discussions about things bigger than the weather. Introverts make wonderful listeners and will be open to hearing whatever it is you have to say. Just make sure as his partner, you keep in. You don’t want to unintentionally overburden your lover.

Introverts make great lovers, they just require a bit more patience. With these tips on how to make sure you’re not draining your partner, hopefully, you will be able to establish and maintain a healthy relationship. Respect an introvert’s need for space and they will give you all the love this world has to offer.