A Cheating Person Will Show No Remorse: True or False?

The saying goes: Once a cheater, always a cheater but is it true? Will they cheat again if they’ve cheated before? Is it your fault if he/she does? These are some of the questions you ask yourself once a partner has been unfaithful. And how do you move on from being cheated on?

Cheating and its consequences are some of the worst and most devastating times a relationship will ever endure and it's never the same after. It turns your whole world on its axis once the trust is broken and you begin to look at everything with a new set of eyes, questioning everything your partner ever said and did.

So why does he/she cheat? A lot of research has been done on cheating or what experts call extra-dyadic sexual involvement and the disturbing findings are these: If they’ve cheated previously, chances are they’re going to do it again. We are not saying that it’s definite they’ll cheat again, the chances that they will are just three times as high.

Not all cheaters cheat for the same reason and it’s not even that they will cheat again. There are several motivating factors for a cheater, or as we enjoy calling them, extra-dyadic sexual involvers and the reasons can range from thrill-seeking to seeking emotional connections.

This type of cheater doesn’t give their cheating much thought and see it as almost a normal thing to step out on their partner. They lack impulse control and will follow the first piece of juicy ass that crosses their path. They also have little to no regard or empathy and awareness for other’s feelings.

One of the most major reasons for cheating is because they’re not committed to the relationship or they feel like you’re just a place holder for a more serious one. This person imagines that the boundaries of the relationship are a lot looser than you might imagine them and will explain similar to this when asked about it.

Getting into a relationship is easier than staying in one. The beginning of a relationship brings with it the excitement of trying out something new and discovering each other. But it doesn’t stay this way and after a while, things start slowing down. A partner experiencing this kind of decline may seek that feeling outside of the relationship to satisfy the need within them for something missing.

The rules are looser nowadays when it comes to sex and relationships than they were before. Your partner could be a subscriber of the sharing love community and doesn’t mind being with more than one person and doesn’t in fact, see it as cheating if they get with someone other than you, just an expression of their true selves.

Sex is a huge motivator for cheating and if your sexual energies don’t match, your partner may end up looking for the kind of sexual energy in someone that can match theirs. The mismatch could be caused by several aspects including everyday life issues like super busy schedules.

The reason most people don’t cheat is that we can’t handle our emotional reaction to it. A first-time cheater will feel extreme guilt for the emotional damage it will inflict and lying only makes it worse.  A subsequent cheater’s mind adapts to this emotional struggle and their brains become desensitized to the adverse effects of lying.

According to research done, once a cheater cheats, the part of their brain that processes emotion adapts to the lying effects of cheating, and each time becomes easier than the last. A cheater may feel guilty for cheating the first time, but will rarely experience the same level of guilt the next time.

Serial cheaters are created this way because the person just doesn’t feel emotionally tied to the act and they don’t care about the feelings of another person

If your partner cheats on you for the first time, or you’ve been trying to work through things before they cheated, they’re likely to feel guilty and remorseful towards their actions. The guilt, shame, and remorse associated with cheating on someone can vary from person to person. Sometimes even a serial cheater will show remorse and guilt and take responsibility for the consequences of their actions.

This is why it is important to understand why he/she cheated. Some partners will feel wholly justified in why they cheated and may not therefore feel remorse for their actions. These feelings of regret, guilt, and shame are very strong emotions and will not be processed the same for everyone.

One characteristic of people that are experiencing these emotions is the need to overcompensate in another aspect of their relationship like gift-giving or spending time with their partner until they feel the debt has been repaid.

The aftereffects of cheating are like a rabbit hole of negativity, victimization, demonizing, and assigning blame. As the person that’s been cheated on, you feel real emotions akin to those of losing a loved one and you may need the time to work through these emotions. The worst thing is when your partner decides to hit the lowest of lows and blame you for their actions.

It can really fuck with a person’s mind when a cheating partner blames you for their actions. In their long list of reasons why they may throw in things you did or didn’t do that led them to make that decision.

The hugest motivator for cheating is sex. This will be the biggest and most common reason men will give for cheating. Their partner lost interest in their physical intimacy so they went looking for that.

A woman will most likely say that her man stopped being emotionally present in the relationship and that’s why she got entangled with another man

In truth, a partner’s blame game is born out of selfishness and self-serving purposes. Either the guilt they feel is too much and they can’t handle it so they decide to shift the blame to make it more bearable for themselves or they assign blame so you feel guilty enough not to talk about the reasons for the infidelity

A relationship is the product of two people feeding it so of course, both partners have their part to play in a case of infidelity but the cheating partner bears the brunt of cheating. They are responsible for making that decision to take things to that level with someone else despite what’s going on in their relationship.

Yeah, there might be issues that hadn’t been worked through but that’s not to say that it’s your fault if your partner blames you. You are only responsible for what goes on between the two of you and not between them and another person.

Moving on from being cheated on is not easy. It leaves you with emotional baggage that may take you a while to get over. Trust is a huge aspect of all relationships and once it’s broken, it’s hard to get back. hard but not impossible.

You need to learn and understand the reason why your partner cheated and no matter what they say or fabricate, it is not your fault that they cheated, so don’t let the guilt and frustration of the whole situation deter you from learning why it happened. Once you understand the why, you’ll be able to free yourself from the emotional ties that surround it and hence move on.

This is especially true if your partner is going through the blaming you route. Let them understand that the decision to cheat was their own no matter what might have been going on otherwise. Taking that power to blame you from them will make them more truthful and no matter how much it hurts, the truth is your end goal.

To forgive is to choose not to suffer. carrying the ugly feelings and emotions with you will weigh you down and ruin all other future relationships and no human should have the power to destroy your very spirit. Forgiving will be painful and feel like an impossible task but you’ll be freeing yourself and giving yourself the chance to feel good again.

Being cheated on is an awful feeling that can destroy not only your current relationship but any future relationships you might have after it. Getting into the mind of a cheater; why they cheated and if it’ll happen again and what all this means for you can be a messy process that may or may not break you but it is a process that will leave you with a clear conscience and the strength to move on.