Why Do Guys Act Distant When They Secretly Like You?

Is he NOT into you or SUPER into you when he is acting distant?

By Fred S.
Why Do Guys Act Distant When They Secretly Like You?

Acting Distant As a Sign of Attraction?

Acting distant is commonly seen as a negative sign that points towards someone’s disinterest in you. However, it’s not always that black and white! Sometimes, men can act strangely distant despite having strong feelings for you. Such behavior can stem from fear, loss of hope, or an introverted personality. Among many other possible reasons, we’ve picked out 11 common ones that might explain the way he’s behaving with you.

11 Reasons WHY Someone Who Likes You Will Act Distant

At first, it seems like a major paradox, that someone who likes you decides to act cold around you. But there are countless possible reasons that can explain his distant behavior even when he likes you. Being able to understand these reasons will help you deal with the emotional obstacles between you and him, allowing you to come up with solutions. It’ll shine a light on ways you can help him open up with you! So, let’s find out why he’s acting distant when he actually likes you.

1. Confidence issues

Confidence is a key requirement to initiate a romantic flicker with someone, and many men face this issue within themselves. Due to this lack of confidence, he’ll fail to act according to the feelings he has for you, often scared of rejection. If he has faced rejection earlier or been cheated on, then those events have a lasting negative impact on a man’s self-confidence. Such a guy will distance himself from love, only to avoid the potential pain of one-sided love if you don’t feel the same way.

2. He thinks you’re taken

If a good guy thinks that you’re in a serious committed relationship, or dating someone else, he’ll refrain from making moves on you. If you’ve got a friend that you hang out with all the time, then this friend may be misunderstood as your love interest. In another case, if you’ve had a recent break-up, someone who’s into you can act distant if he thinks you’re trying to sort things out with your ex. If you think that’s your case, just fix this by casually bringing up your single status in a conversation with him!

3. He assumes you wouldn’t feel the same about him

This one might be the most common of them all. Guys are seen to be strong and rough, but they’re humans too, and they can be fragile at times. If he’s super into you, he’ll be afraid to get too involved with you if he thinks you’re not interested in him, or sees you as out of his league. Unless he gets a sign from you, he’ll refrain from making a move on you, and act distant to avoid heartbreak.

4. He isn’t looking for anything serious

Some guys are just not ready to get into a relationship. It can be due to their current priorities, financial situation, or just commitment issues. Who knows, he might have recently come out of a relationship and still needs time to move on. For whatever reason, he may not be looking for something serious at the moment, and that’s fine. In this case, his distant attitude doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you, but he’s just not ready for it yet.

5. He doesn’t want others to know

Friends may tease him for liking someone, especially if the guy has always been a non-believer in true love! In other cases, men might feel embarrassed by some girls due to their lower social status, or other petty reasons. Such reasons could explain why he doesn’t want others to know about his love interest in you, hence making him act distant around them.

6. He's committed

Unfortunately, guys who are already in a committed relationship can sometimes find themselves interested in another girl. Honest ones catch themselves while they’re at it, and try to stay away from such a girl in an attempt to stay true to their current relationship. You might not even know about his relationship, but he does and will act strangely aloof with you even though he likes you.

7. He's an Introvert

Introverts are more common than you think, and the guy interested in you might be one too. If that’s the case, it’s in his nature to keep his distance from challenging social situations, including the ones involving their crush (you).

As an introvert, he’d prefer to spend his time at home, doing the activities he loves by himself. Even though he likes you, he won’t do much to make the first move, let alone express his feelings. To work around this, consider initiating more offers for hangouts in the activities he enjoys, allowing him to open up with you slowly.

8. He likes dating around

A guy might like you, but he might like dating (and sleeping) around with other girls more. He might not be ready to fixate himself on just one girl yet, making him refrain from expressing his feelings for you just yet. He’ll stay in touch with you as he’s interested in you, but his attempts to maintain distance will be obvious, as he’s not looking for commitment. He likes you but just likes his freedom more.

9. He thinks unavailability will make you like him

Many guys believe that acting distant with a girl they like can gain her attention because it keeps her wanting them. Unfortunately, this can be partially true, as we naturally gravitate towards people that are hard to get. Many people get more interested in someone who isn’t readily available, so the guy who’s interested in you might be doing just that.

10. He’s going through difficulties

Even if someone likes you, his behavior can be largely influenced by the other events going on in his life. He could be going through financial or emotional difficulties or health problems. This can cause him to behave coldly with almost everyone, and not just you! If this is the case, then it’s not like he doesn’t like you, but just needs time to cope with life before he can pay attention to you again.

11. He may have lost a loved one

When we lose a close loved one, life around us stops for a bit. He might be going through the same pain at the moment! His mind would be occupied with dealing with such a big loss, constantly cycling through the memories with the deceased. In such a situation, a distant attitude is totally understandable, and all you can do is give them time.

Acting Distant Because He Is NOT Into you: 6 Sign Tell Signs

In cases other than above, guys can act distant simply because they’re not into you, as hard as that may be to accept. To make sure that’s the case, there a few signs to look for. We’ve highlighted six of them below – see if you can relate to any of them!

1. He’s not interested in spending time alone with you

If he has completely stopped trying to hang out with you one on one, that’s a red signal. If he’s not interested in having extended conversations over text or calls either, it’s bad news.

2. Flirting vanishes

Guys love flirting with girls who they are even remotely interested in. If he has never flirted with you or has stopped doing it all of a sudden, that’s a big indicator that he’s not into you.  

3. Body language changes

Girls are great at noticing body language cues, and you’ll know if he has been physically uninterested lately. Signs may be him not sitting close to you, refraining from casually touching you, etc.

4. You don’t have his attention

If you’ve noticed a sudden decline in the amount of attention he gives you, without any explanation for it, he probably doesn’t like you as much anymore.

5. You’re initiating everything, not him

Be it hangout or meetup plans, calls, or texts, it’s always you who initiates it. If that’s the case, you aren’t really on his mind – and that isn’t a good sign.

6. He never gets jealous

If he’s totally okay with other guys stepping into your life (especially if he’s been the jealous type in the past), he’s probably not that into you anymore.  

When Should I Make the First Move

Once you ensure that he’s interested in you, and you feel the same way, the only next step is to express your true emotions as clearly as possible. There’s nothing better for two lovers than to freely unite, and that only begins with complete clarity to begin with.

Soulmates who spend their entire lives with each other as spouses also went through the same stage as you! It all begins with an honest expression of love, and if that’s reciprocated from the other side, it can turn into something incredibly beautiful. Who knows, he might just be the guy you tie the knot with? True love is hard to find, so don’t slack off in making the first move!

Related Article: Top 10 Tips On How To Make The First Move On A Guy
Top 10 Tips On How To Make The First Move On A Guy

Do you like a guy and he is not approaching you? Here are some tips on how you can make the first move on him to make him aware that you are interested.


Are you wondering if he likes you, even though he acts indifferent? Are you torn between whether or not he’s still interested in you? To help you sort your worries out, we’ve mentioned and described the signs that’ll give you the answers you’re looking for. Being aware of the reasons behind his distant attitude will help you deal with him in a more considerate and sensitive way while keeping your insecurities at bay. All the best!  


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