When You Need to Spice Things Up
You’ve been in your current relationship for a while now and in the beginning your sex drive was strong, you often made love like rabbits, but not so much anymore. Now you fumble about beneath the sheets hoping certain body parts are still able to fit together. You've been with your current partner so long that things have started to become boring in the bedroom. We've all been there and we've all suffered through it because it happens to many relationships and this is why. When you're with the same person doing the same thing every week-- making the same noises and having the same climactic moments, sex becomes predictable. There’s often nothing new and exciting about it, but don't despair because the solution is simple.
To get out of the rut you and your partner are in, you just need to try some of the dirtiest and freaky sex acts to spice things up! Don't know what to try or where to start? You're in luck! Here is a list of 13 new, out-of-the-ordinary things to add some zest back into your sex life!
1. Enjoy food outside of the kitchen
This may be the dirtiest thing to try…in more ways than one. Try sexy food items like whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and sugar. Also, venture outside your home and try new things. Spice things up with some hot sauce (but keep away from privates—you don’t want to set yourself on fire!) or keep things sweet with candy and baked goods. Experiment with vegetable penetration (making sure the vegetables are scrubbed clean before you use them). My favorite thing is to make an alcoholic luge out of my body. Sit down in a chair (naked, of course) and have your man (or woman!) wait for the shot of vodka to flow in between your legs. Pour it down and it’s fun for everyone! Definitely a great precursor to sex. Be cautious of body hair. One time in college, there was a wolf-man of sorts and we tried whipped cream. I do not recommend this and I would rather not recall the reasons why this little experiment failed.
Can you say "YUM"?
2. Don’t be afraid to explore with some role playing.
Even something as little as lipstick can change a lot in the bedroom. “Role play” could mean many things, like putting on a costume, putting on a persona, or even playing out a scene. Here's a scenario to help heat things up: Meeting your significant other at the bar wearing not much other than your birthday suit beneath your coat. Pretend it's your first time meeting one other and then have sex in the backseat of your car. Role playing spices up any relationship. If you want to get really freaky, go for the dirtiest “taboo” role plays (because let’s be honest, there is no such thing as taboo in the bedroom). Step-siblings, babysitter and child, teacher and student…the possibilities are endless. Try some out, and if it’s not your thing, then just scrap the idea and have sex the normal way until you want to be wild and try out another role!
3. Have a ménage à trois
I was in the same mindset you are probably in when you hear “threesome.” Why would I want my man to pay any attention, if not all of his attention, to another woman? If I am straight, why would I want another woman in the bedroom? And just the same, if my man is straight, why would he want another man in the bedroom? However, don’t kick this idea to the curb just yet. Be wild and it out at least once in your life. Whether it is FFM, FMM, MMM, or FFF, the sex is bound to be hot and spark some new flames between you and your significant other. These flames last a lot longer than the time the other person is with you. It is best to have the third party be someone you get to know and please, make sure they aren't shy about sex.
4. Try out different and new fetishes
You may not even know which of the dirtiest fetishes you're actually into until you try them! Have some fun and be wild with your significant other’s feet; rent animal costumes and see if that makes the sex intriguing; sniff each other’s armpits and see if that heightens the mood. Do your research on common fetishes and try them out. Start basic and tame because there's no need to go wild when you're trying these out for the very first time. Then you can work your way up to the dirtiest and freakiest fetishes and if you find something you’re not into, just don’t do it again and move on to the next one. Exploring these interests is the only way to find new things that you're into as a couple. Be daring, be brave! Otherwise, sex gets monotonous.
5. Explore new "alternative methods"
No one says you have to like anal or your partner has to like pegging. In fact, just the idea may turn you off, as it does many people. It may have been a one-way street for your whole life but if you’re in a committed and trusting relationship, what’s the harm in trying these new methods out at least once? If it hurts, feels weird, or makes things awkward, then move on to something else. But this is certainly something worth doing, at least once. Even the idea of trusting each other so much to be able to try this is enough to make for some great, intimate sex. And if you and your partner like it and want to continue it? Great! You just found a dirty, wild, freaky sex thing that turns you both on. In preparation for your first time doing it, try making sure you have plenty of lubricant and you are both okay with it. If there is hesitation, that’s okay. There’s bound to be some. But if you or your partner truly do not want it, the outcome will be drastically different (not to mention the idea of not wanting it and it happening to you anyways tends to tense up the body which makes it all the more painful). Also, if your male partner is rather well-endowed, have him try a toy first that is not as big. Make sure you go slow and take time to enjoy it.
6. Try sexual things out in public
The adrenaline is unreal when there’s a chance of being caught in the act. This makes the big O THAT much better!
Try to not do it in a place that will get you arrested for indecent exposure, especially around children. We’re trying to spice up your sex life, not put you in jail. Great spots are your own yard, in abandoned areas in the forest, and in dead parking lots at night. I had a stint with a cop for about a year where we only had sex in public while he was on duty. This made things HOT. Our spots included behind a water building that was visited and had graffiti all over it, in a state park in the middle of the woods, and in another state park at the end of a trail rarely accessed by cars and walkers. The thrill was all in the idea that at any second, a car could come around the corner and see everything going down. Another great public-esque sex experience of mine happened in my own backyard. Build a nice fire in a fire pit, make sure your neighbors are not nosy, and get handsy (and maybe mouthy?).
7. It's okay to watch videos of other people having sex
There is a taboo about porn that really should not exist. Most everyone with any kind of sex drive has, at some point in their lives, watched some type of porn. This includes individuals in committed relationships and I'm here to say, it's okay! The only thing better than watching porn by yourself and then masturbating is watching porn with your significant other while you’re having sex. Sometimes, porn can even provide some good and fun ideas or positions you wouldn’t normally try. The type of porn is based on your preference. If you prefer the cheesy, dramatic flair of professionally filmed porn videos, then I would buy full-length movies and put it up on your big screen TV. If you prefer the intimate, poor quality homemade sex videos, then I would stick to free-streaming sites. I would also suggest you trying something new, the dirtiest kind of video you haven’t seen or had sex while watching before.
8. Better yet, it’s okay to watch people having sex live.
Yea, it’s okay. Try attending an adult party with sex on the itinerary. My suggestion is do not shy away from it. Embrace it and watch the beauty of sex happening right in front of you. Watch it with your significant other like it’s a movie (without the popcorn! That might get a little weird). Maybe join in, or allow others to watch you and then allow them to join in the fun as well.This is something new for you and your significant other to try out. But be weary of the people you watch/allow to watch you. It would be helpful for you to get to know the other couples before you decide to participate.
Let the fun begin!
9. Shower sex is not that great; try sex in the rain instead
The worst part about having sex in the shower is the inconsistency of the water temperature. If you’re out of the stream of water (which should be half the time unless you’re a shower hog!) ,it gets very cold. The heavy stream of water hitting your face and almost drowning you, your hair sticking to your face in big, drenched clumps…nothing sexier... …Except making love in the rain. You think kissing in the rain was romantic? Just wait until you’ve tried sex in the middle of Mother Nature’s tears (hint: she’s crying because it’s so beautiful!). The rain isn’t as harsh as shower streams. Yes, rain is cold, but at least you both are cold and you can keep your bodies close together to keep each other warm.
10. Do things in the car--with a new spin
It is common knowledge that car things can be done on guys, however, it is just as sensual for girls. What's a better way to stay awake on a long or late-night car drive than being pleasured? Whether you are the one driving or you are the co-pilot, allow your significant other to explore you. It’s exhilarating to have to concentrate on the road but also have the sensation of sexual pleasure. There are obviously safety concerns with this, so this something to do at your own risk (as many sex suggestions are). I personally have found this nice after a night out at the bar when I haven’t drank all night because I’m the designated driver and my partner is very drunk and very touchy-feely. It makes for a much more exciting ride home than if he just passed out. And you get the foreplay out of the way before you get home so by the time you're in the house, clothes come off and by the time you're in bed, you are both warmed up and ready to jump right in.
11. Play with sex dice and act upon the unthinkable
Sex dice can be found in any sex shop. One die gives you a body part, the other an act that you must perform Body parts include hands, lips, ears, and the neck while acts include kissing, licking, tickling, and even stroking Usually they are given as gag gifts, as many things in a sex shop are. But this is worth trying to spark new flames in the relationship. When something else is telling you what to do to your partner, one might think it isn’t as sensual and intimate. But sex dice are just as hot as if you had a sex therapist talking you through what would bring a newfound pleasure to both of you. Sex dice offers the silliness and fun of a game to the intimacy and romance of foreplay before sex. It may be worth even making your own dice, including some new wild things. How crazy and fun would it be to kiss your partner’s knee…and then see where it leads to!
12. Go to a strip club together
My significant other and I go out of the country every year. Right around the corner from the hotel we stay at is a strip club. I thought it was really weird to go in there with him. I figured he’d just get turned on by the girls and I would feel unwanted and fat. However, it was completely the opposite. Although he did look at them (it was kind of hard not to, when we were sat right in front of the main stage), I looked at them too. They came over to us and they even flirted with us. We even paid for each other to get a lap dance. The second he got the feeling I was thinking he wanted them more than me, he had me touch him while he watched those woman dance. One woman even got on the pole and went completely horizontal, then began doing sit ups while still on the pole. At that point in her performance there was no evidence of him being excited but then he kissed me sensually and had me feel him again. This time he was rock hard and completely turned on. That’s why strip clubs should not be ruled out just because you’re in a monogamous relationship. They are there to remind couples that there might be talented, attractive females right in front of your significant other, but the truth is, they are with YOU and YOU are the one that they are excited about. The sex that follows a trip to the strip club is more intimate and triumphant than anything else could make it. These are the types of things that keeps couples remembering how much love is there in their relationship. And if you'd like to be even more daring and try something new while at the strip club... Each of you flirt with the strippers and see who gets more attention. Whoever wins gets to be handsy in the VIP room you just paid for. The other person has to watch.
13. High School Reunions are a way to make new memories in old places
These events are for the ones who always wanted to have sex in the girl’s bathroom, who wanted to make love to your soul mate on your teacher’s desk, and (for those Catholic school girls) who wanted to get freaky in the chapel while a priest gives his Holy day sermon. However, if you get caught and get in trouble for it, you don’t run the risk of getting kicked out of school and your parents finding out. You just get kicked out of your reunion and asked to not return to your next one. That’s a risk I’m willing to take!
Try new things!
Don't be quiet about it!
The problem with sex is many couples are embarrassed by it. It gets hidden in the bedroom and not talked about. When it is brought up, cheeks blush and the topic is quickly changed. This should not be the case. This makes sexual relationships dull and boring, which is why many couples who are in long-term relationships tend to have dwindling sex lives. Don't let this happen to you. Be adventurous, be creative, and be risky. This is the formula to a long, happy sex life, which makes for a long, happy relationship. Sex is natural, beautiful, and should be TONS of fun! Let it be!
Sex is part of nature. I go along with nature. - Marilyn Monroe