What is Marriage Therapy?
Married couples more often than not, get to a point in their relationship when they feel like they need some sort of help in untangling things and help them put things in perspective.
This is where marriage therapy comes into play. Marriage therapy is essentially a mix between marriage counseling and couple’s therapy to help resolve conflict in the relationship.
Anger, stress, and issues with sex are just some of the reasons you might be prompted to bring in a professional to try and fix things. Therapy helps you create healing and rebuild a stronger relationship by fostering positive communication and sorting emotions you might be going through as a couple.
Whatever the reason for your seeking out marriage counselling, here are a few signs that definitely are a sign that you need to bring in the big guns for the sake of world peace.
What are the 8 signs that shouts if you need marriage therapy
1. Breakdown in communication
Communication is not just what you say but how you say it. You’re two adults in this situation and more often, the sentiment behind the words is what leaves its mark. Negative communication can have very adverse effects on your marriage and it might be a little hard to get back on track. If communication leaves one or both of you feeling sad. Depressed, insecure and just wanting to be done with the whole conversation then you might need a little help.
2. If one or both of you is thinking of cheating or has had extramarital affairs
When things get so frustrating that suddenly you’re paying attention to the advances of that other guy, or girl, then this is a call for action.
Marriages are difficult to bounce back after an affair, but not impossible. You’ll definitely need a therapist help you sort out all the emotions that you might be feeling and in a safe way. Your therapist will guide in how to communicate these emotions to one another.
3. If you’re together because of the kids, if you’re living more like roommates
When things have deteriorated so much that you and your partner are just together to try and save face, then you need help. Staying together for the sake of the kids is especially wrong because these little humans are quite good and reading situations and if they feel like they are the reason mommy and daddy are choosing not be happy, it might create negative feelings for them and guilt and the need to rectify the situation
Couples are supposed to be a team when it comes to managing finances and that means making decisions together. It’s frustrating when things are done without the consent of the other partner and this might lead to resentment and a feeling of disrespect in the household.
Unemployment is also a big issue especially if it is expected that both parties are providing financial support. Unemployment creates a lack of self-esteem, frustration, anger and if not addressed properly it can create scarring issues for both partners.
5. When you both don’t know how to resolve your problems
You know your marriage is screaming for professional help when you both don’t know how to solve your current problems and separation seems like the more feasible cause of action.
Marriages go through a tone of trials but knowing how to solve the problems and move forward stronger is the secret to long-lasting, happy marriages. Marriage therapists are specially trained to help you figure out how to solve your problems, the journey that will lead to healing.
6. Cultural clashes
Especially witnessed for couples that come from different but strong cultural backgrounds, the difference can create quite the friction in a marriage. Both partners might feel like their culture deserves the upper recognition or should be followed by the kids.
7. Partners acting out because of pent-up negative feelings
All the negative feelings we’ve mentioned get pent up and in a bid to try and release the pressure one or both partners may end up acting out. I have the story of Julia (not her real name) who was cheated on by her husband of 5 years. They decided to work out things themselves but Julia after that, put herself through situations that made her husband believe she was cheating on him even if she wasn’t. She wasn’t but she wanted him to feel the pain she felt and was still feeling. Marriage therapy helps you focus on how to communicate these feelings in a positive way instead of acting them out like in Julia’s case.
8. Blended families
Blended families are families that come together from a previous relationship or marriage and involves kids. It can be difficult to bring people together in such situations and might be met with a lot of resistance that may create other problems like the kids being hostile or feeling unwanted.
Marriage Therapy books
1. The five love languages: The secret to love that lasts By Gary D Chapman
Five Love languages: Amazon.com
This book is great at helping you understand yourself and your partner better. Not everyone feels or shows love the same way and The five love languages show you how to show love because most often than not, that’s how you feel it too. It helps you and your partner realize that you might show love in different ways and that’s okay!
2. Emotional and Sexual Intimacy in marriage: How to connect or reconnect with your spouse By Marcus and Ashely Kusi
Marriage and sexual intimacy: Amazon.com/books
This book focuses on ways to rediscover the passion you once had for each other in your relationship. Reconnect with your spouse by following the book’s guidelines and rekindle your marriage so you can achieve lasting intimacy with your spouse. Get Emotional and sexual intimacy in marriage here.
3. The Seven Principles for making marriage work By John M. Gottman and Nan Silver
Seven principles of marriage: Amazon.com/books
Find out more about what makes your partner tick and improve your marriage through a series of different exercises from The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide. With dedication from both of you and following the guidelines of the book, you’ll be able to improve communication and more in your marriage.
4. Love and respect workbook By Emerson Eggerichs
Love and respect: amazon.com/books
There's a book and a workbook that goes a long way to mend your relationship. This workbook helps you through different exercises to help you strengthen your bonds.
5. Couple skills: Making your relationship work By Matthew McKay PhD and Patrick Fanning
Couple skills: Amazon.com/books
Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work will demonstrate how to work effectively in your relationship. Skills like improved communication, how to deal with your problems, resolving conflicts in healthier ways are some of the things focused on in this book.
Marriage Therapy questions
If you and your spouse are not sure if you need therapy or not, here are some questions to guide you. The questions are prepared by a specialist courtesy of guidedoc.com/ marriage counseling questions.
1. What Are Our Main Issues?
2. What Issues Are Most Important?
3. Do You Want a Divorce?
4. Are We Going Through a Bad Phase?
5. How Do You Truly Feel About the Relationship?
6. What Bothers You Most About Me?
7. What Kind of Love Do You Feel?
8. Do You Trust Me?
9. How Can I Gain Your Trust Back?
10. Are You Satisfied With Our Intimacy?
5 best podcasts that focus on Marriage Therapy
1. Couple's Therapy
Couple's therapy podcast
This is the show where stand-up lovers, ex-lovers, siblings & friends do sets together about their relationship. A comedy show mixed with the intimacy of a private therapy sesh!
2. Foreplay – Radio Sex Therapy For Couples | Sexuality Expert | Marriage Counseling |
This podcast helps couples keep things hot and steaming in the bedroom, from best sexual techniques to solving sexual intimacy problems.
3. Couples Therapy with Candice and Casey
This a youtube couple that candidly talks about their marital ups and downs, friendship and parenthood. It's fun and refreshing and gives you a look into your own marriage through the story of another.
4. The Therapy Spot
Therapist Beth takes you through marriage problems, depression, anxiety or just need some guidance.
5. Pod Therapy
These two therapists answer real people's questions. you can send in your questions or submit advice at www.PodTherapy.net
Marriage Therapy: Does it work?
The question currently plaguing your mind, "Can marriage therapy save my marriage?"
The current method of therapy, known as Emotionally Focussed Therapy, or EFT, has been showing some great strides and boasts of approximately 75% rate of success according to the American Psychological Association. This data is based on over 25 years of research. Based on this research, you have some pretty good chances of working things out at therapy.
If your marriage is going through problems that you feel are too much to handle on your own, then it is best to seek the help of a professional marriage therapist. Don't wait too long to start fixing your issues because time may heal but it also worsens. We wish you the best in trying to resolve your marriage issues and we hope that you get the best possible solution for your marriage.