How to do recovery with your ex boyfriend and get him back

Getting your ex-boyfriend back is not that hard but also is not that easy. Confusing right? It's just that getting him back will depend on the reasons why you two broke up and why exactly do you want him back. We're dealing with human beings here, male human beings so you can't know for sure if your "recovery strategies" are going to work. But if you have thought about it and you really want him back there are some tips or advice you can take that'll help smooth the way.

Just one more thing before we get into the tips. What if you do get him back? What now? How do you keep him? Lots of women have recovered their boyfriends just to lose them again because all they did was put a bandaid over the wounds and hurts, they didn't address the real issues for why they broke up in the first place. So take your time to ponder on your relationship and why it went wrong and once you get him back start working on your issues.

So now, how do you go about getting him back and not sound desperate in the process? Here is some advice.

Take your time to, as we said before, ponder about your relationship. We bet that things are pretty crazy right now, with the hurt of the breakup and all the emotions flying around, so don't rush things, you'll probably do and say things you'll regret later. Take this time to understand what went wrong with your relationship, why did it come to an end.

Maybe you were the one giving too much and he wasn't. You didn't make him work for the relationship so he lost interest. Or you were clingy and insecure (that's not attractive at all and can wear down any relationship). Or the relationship became monotonous. Look for the one with the most probability and then look for possible solutions to work on when you get him back. 

This is going to be the most difficult thing you'll have to do. Nevertheless, you need to establish it as a rule and be very strict about it. We know you miss him very much and your desire to contact him is very powerful, but resist it. You can't call him, you can't text him, you can't contact him online (that includes all social accounts or emails or private chats). Also, you can't spend time with friends you have in common (you're bound to bump into him this way), and please don't run into him "by accident".

One of the reasons for the NO contact rule is because he has to realize, for himself, how much he misses you and wants you back. What if he contacts you? Well, you'll not be breaking the rule if you don't reply to his message or call. 

Now is a great time to spend time with yourself, you need to heal and to do that you'll need to do some self-improvements. You'll need to get stronger, you know, update yourself. That's a great way to distract yourself and avoid the temptation of contacting him. Do you have a hobby you have neglected while you were with him, like jogging in the park or taking an art class or a pottery class? 

You can take an out of town or out-of-the-country vacation, the change of scenery will help you clear your mind, it can give you a different perspective. Don't isolate yourself, reconnect with family and friends, surround yourself with happy and positive people who can listen to you and give you support and advice. Go to a spa and have the works

Texting is our new way of communication, like it or not and when it comes to using text messages to get your ex-boyfriend back it can go both ways (it can totally work, or it can be a disaster). It can work to your advantage if you know how to use this resource wisely. Beware that is not a magic solution, you need to be prepared for the possibility that he won't text you back or that he'll reject you. 

To have success using text messages to get him back, you'll need to send the perfect message at the right time, What you shouldn't do at any time (with anyone) is bombard him with messages, that is never a good idea and it'll ruin your chances of getting him back.

It's important that, before you try texting to get him back, you follow the NO contact rule that we mentioned before. Don't contact him for at least a month, that should give you time to gather your thoughts and heal. There are some don'ts when it comes to texting your ex.boyfriend. If you're drunk, don't text him, you'll regret it later. Don't send him messages where you get totally emotional (men are averse to heavy emotional situations). Don't pick a text message fight just to get his attention and don't text him a million times.

Now that you know what not to do, here are some text messages that could help you get him back.

Men are attracted to happy and positive women so when you decide to text him again (after the no-contact period), a light and happy message is just the right move to make. This'll show him that it's safe to approach you again because he'll be sure that you're not bitter or angry anymore. Don't send him something generic like "Hey, how are you?", that won't work. 

Bring up shared memories or a pleasant experienced between you too. Remember the positive tone. Send something like "I tried rock climbing for the first time. Remember my reluctance to try it? It was amazing!" or "I finally got to watch the TV series you recommended, you're right I liked it". These types of text show him that you're thinking of him but not exactly about him.and that you're happy where you are right now.

Remind him of the happy times you shared. Nostalgia is a very powerful emotion, so appeal to it in your text. The objective of this type of text is to get him to think about the reasons you two were together, about all the good things about the relationship. It's like when you hear a song on the radio that evokes the best memories of your past. If you choose the right words and the right memory this nostalgia text can work wonders,

For example, "I just went to the beach and sat at the exact place where we watch that amazing sunset, remember how amazing it was?" or "I just heard our song on the radio, remember the first time we heard it together?"

This should be the easiest text you'll send him. You're testing the waters, so to speak, to feel things out and see how he responds. It'll be your way of knowing if he's willing to rekindle the relationship. If he ignores your text, then he's not ready for it, but if he does respond and is willing to see you and catch up, things are looking good.

It can be as simple as "Hi, I was thinking about you the other day and was wondering how you've been."

You've managed to get past the NO contact rule for at least a month and you're doing great. Now what? You want him back so, how you go about recovering your ex-boyfriend after no contact? First, you need to have the right attitude to move forward, then you can follow this advice.

Be sure you're mind is ready to accept any outcome. It may be that after the No contact period your ex-boyfriend will not want to talk to you, that he will reject you. Or it may be that he wants you back too, so he's willing to talk to you and work things out. 
 

Just waiting sitting down for him to contact you after the No contact period is not going to get him back, so you need to make the first contact. Try sending him a message, but first, figure out what kind of text message to send (see examples above). Then just send the message and wait for his response. If he doesn't respond right away, wait for a couple of days and then try again.

Long distance relationships are not easy, they are hard. So getting your ex-boyfriend back after ending a long distance relationship is harder but not impossible. You need to take a breath and follow this advice.

For that to happen, you need to ask yourself these questions: Do I want to get married? Do I want to leave things as they are? What do I really want from this relationship? Can you see yourself in the long term with him? and, this is crucial in long distance relationships, Are you willing to move where he is? Once you have answers to those questions, you can proceed.

Once you figure out what you want and what went wrong with the relationship, reach out to him and ask if he wants to talk about it. Maybe you think it's fixable but you'll need his input too. You may have different perspectives, so take that into consideration. If both of you agree on what went wrong and are willing to work on it, then mention trying again and see where it goes. 

You have to be prepared for a negative response too.

If you're having a really hard time trying to cope with your breakup and are struggling to find the right way to get your ex-boyfriend back, we recommend you listen one of these podcasts. 

This podcast is one of the most popular, his creator is Chis Seiter and he talks about real life situations and gives very good advice and helps women through breakups and recovery. 

On this podcast, Megan, as well as rotating guests, will advice you and give you tips so you don't make the same mistakes as they did. It has a comedic touch too.

Want to know what the odds are of you getting back with your boyfriend? Then take these ex-boyfriend recovery quizzes. The results can give a clue on whether you'll recover him or not.

If you really want your ex-boyfriend back and are willing to work on what went wrong to fix the relationship, then follow the advice we gave you on this article. Now you know what to do in different circumstances. Give yourself time to get him back, let your wounds heal and get yourself stronger. Be prepared for a negative outcome too, you could wish with all your heart to get him back but if that is not what he wants, then you'll have to let him go.

We hope that everything works out! We're cheering for you.